Still In Love With You
by ONiONLADi777
Summary: He was hoping a lie would make his mistake disappear. But when his plan backfired, Axel wasn't the only one with a broken heart. .axel x demyx. .yaoi. .au.
1. Falling To Pieces All Over Again

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 1: Falling To Pieces All Over Again  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to Lavender341, of course, who a) got me into Axel and Demyx, b) provided LOTS of inspiration and help for this fanfic, and c) for being the bestest friend in the entire universe :D  
..»**Disclaimer:** ...Kingdom Hearts? MINE?! Not unless Square Enix gives it to me -sigh-

* * *

**_"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph, I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"_**

_"...s-so that's it then? We're finished?"_

_Axel closed his eyes tightly, grateful he wasn't facing Demyx and the blonde couldn't see the tears rolling down his cheeks._

_"...yeah."_

_Demyx remained silent, absorbing Axel's words slowly. He repeated them over and over again in his head, trying to find their true meaning. But as he searched, he came to realize they meant exactly what they said. Tears stung the back of his eyes, and he bit back a sob painfully. A tear leaked from his eyes, and he wiped it away quickly to hide his heart break from Axel._

_"Okay. Fine. If that's...what you want. I'll never bother you again."_

_Axel wnted to say something, anything, but couldn't make the words come out. He silently listened as Demyx angrily grabbed his keys off the kitchen counter and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. Axel could have sworn he heard Demyx crying on his way out._

_The redhead felt his heart break in his chest, and he collapsed to his knees, gripping onto the counter beside him tightly as he sobbed loudly._

_He was gone. And it was all his fault._

* * *

Axel's piercing green eyes fluttered open as he slowly awakened. He shut them quickly, however, blinded by the impossibly bright morning light. Propping himself up on his elbow, he rubbed his eyes tiredly and yawned. His hand reached out and fumbled for the alarm clock that just _would not shut up_ on his nightstand. After a few failed attempts to find the snooze button, he eventually silenced the infernal contraption. He then moved to fluff his pillows and try to get those last few minutes of sleep when he felt a piece of paper slid past his fingers. Without thinking, he gripped the paper and pulled it out from under his pillow.

All he could do was stare.

Those same blue eyes haunted him in his dreams every night. They gazed at him accusingly, even though the person in the picture wasn't trying to, and riped a gaping hole in his chest every single time. He went through the same emotional roller coaster each time he so much as glanced at that perfect face, going from happy to ridden with guilt to depressed and angry, then all back through the cycle. It was inevitable. As much as he tried to prevent it, it always happened.

With a soft sigh, he returned the picture to its place beneath his pillow. He sat up and rubbed at his eyes tiredly. Every single morning had been the same: he would wake up completely exhausted from tossing and turning the whole night, gaze at the picture longingly for a moment, then sit up and stare out his window as he thought about that mistake he had made so many months before. Zexion would eventually call him and tell him to stop moping and get ready for school, which Axel would do very reluctantly.

He honestly didn't know what he would do without Zexion. He and Roxas had held him together since _that_ happened, and each day that dragged by would have been absolute hell without them. Roxas kept him in one piece emotionally, always there for him whenever he needed to talk (which was frequently), and Zexion kept his schedule in check, making sure he was getting to school on time (partly because Axel was his ride), made it to soccer practice, and did all of his homework. The latter was the hardest to mantain, Axel being a procrastinator extrodinaire and unwilling to do anything remotely relating with school in his current condition. Things had been getting easier, however, as time went on.

Axel sighed heavily and rose to his feet. Zexion's call had been earlier than usual, it being Monday and Monday being the hardest day of the week for Axel. He showered quickly and skipped over breakfast, as usual, then headed out to his car. After his usual ten minutes of staring blankly at the steering wheel and his mind wandering, he pulled out of his drive way, and sped down his street towards Roxas's house.

He was grateful for Roxas only being five minutes away. Whether he was running late in the mornings or was a complete wreck at night, getting to Roxas was easy and fast. He pulled into his best friend's drive way and honked his horn a few times, signalling his arrival. A few minutes later, Roxas emerged and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Hey," the blonde whispered, smiling. Axel smiled weakly in return, glancing up at him for only a second. "You're early today."

"Zexion called me earlier than usual," the redhead replied. "Since it's Monday and all."

Roxas nodded in affirmation, his eyes never leaving those of his best friend. "You seem worse today."

Axel shrugged. "I slept less last night. Not that I get much sleep in the first place..."

"The dream was longer?"

He nodded.

The dream Roxas was referring to was the worst week in Axel's life that kept replaying in his head like a broken record. From the night of the party to the break up itself, parts of the series of events would appear in his dreams every night. The worst nights were the ones that had the _entire_ week in one endless nightmare. Those were the ones Axel would wake up from in a cold sweat and his pillow soaked with his tears. Getting him to go back to sleep after those was always the hardest. Axel pulled out of Roxas's driveway, and zoomed down the road towards Zexion's house.

"Hello, Axel," Zexion said as he slid into Axel's backseat.

"Hey," the redhead muttered dryly in response.

"I think it would be fair to warn you he" --Axel's heart nearly burst at the mention of _him_-- "is in a particularly foul mood this morning," Zexion informed them. "It seems he, too, got less sleep than normal."

"Fantastic," Axel grumbled. Without another word, he backed out of Zexion's driveway, and began driving towards a place he always dreaded going to.

Thinking about him while he was driving generally _wasn't_ a good idea. It happened a lot, unfortunately, and he'd end up nearly swerving off the road into a ditch. He considered letting himself crash a few times, but then decided that probably wasn't the best idea. After all, he _was _trying to make things better, not worse.

Axel pulled into an all-too familiar driveway, and honked his horn in a pattern a few times. Moments later, Axel's very reason for living made its appearance in the morning light. His chest tightened around his pounding heart, and tears stung the back of his eyes as they followed the blonde walking towards his car.

"Good morning, Demyx," Zexion said to his best friend as he silently slipped into Axel's car. He buckled his seatbelt and snorted in response. "What's so good about it?"

Axel looked out the window and closed his eyes tightly. The intense guilt he felt overwhelmed him every time he so much as looked at Demyx. He was well aware of the fact he had been the one to make Demyx this way, and that he had been the one to strip him of his smile, laughter, and happiness. Hearing Demyx so _angry_ made Axel want to die a slow, excruciatingly painful death.

_"Good morning, Demyx."_

_The blonde turned to him and smiled his bright, warm smile. "It **is** a good morning, isn't it, Zexy?"_

How Axel longed for that Demyx to come back.

* * *

Axel's pencil lightly stroked the paper beneath it, the paper he was supposed to be using for trigonometry notes. How he was supposed to take notes on a bunch of triangles and actually comprehend it was beyond him. Especially now, when all he could think about was the person taking shape from his pencil.

His hair, his eyes, his face, his smile...Axel had it all permanently burned into his memory. He couldn't forget that face even if he tried, which he had been doing for the past few months, and it would haunt him forever. Not in the way ghosts or ghouls do an old house, but in a deeper, much more painful way. Axel very well knew thinking about him would rip open the hole he had carefully sewn back together time after time, but by this point, he didn't really care.

The mechanical pencil he held in his right hand slowly, carefully drew out that perfect pair of eyes, those delicately sculpted lips, that beautiful mane of hair. He had drawn this person so many times. He had lost count of how many times that face graced the margins of his notes-to-be-but-never-were. Drawing him now was second nature. He couldn't place the exact reason he drew him so much. Whether it was because he couldn't erase it from his memory or stop thinking about the person to whom this face belonged, he did not know.

After a few minutes, Axel was, once again, looking at the perfect face of Demyx.

_'Demyx...'_

"Steel!!"

Axel nearly jumped in seat, looking up at his demon of a trig teacher with wide green eyes. He relaxed instantly, and muttered, "What?"

"You know 'what'," Mr. Xemnas replied, narrowing his orange eyes at his student. "Pay attention."

"Whatever," Axel mumbled to himself. He continued drawing Demyx, delicately filling in strands of hair. He looked up, however, when a folded piece of paper landed on his desk. Confused, he picked up the note and opened it.

Zexion's perfect handwriting read, _"Drawing Demyx again?"_

Axel nearly rolled his eyes at Zexion's idiotic rhetorical question that was solely asked to annoy him. Playing along, he wrote back, _"Who else?"_

When ol' Xemmy had his back turned to the class as he wrote frantically on the dry-erase board, Axel tossed it back to the straight-A student sitting next to him. Zexion opened it and quickly read Axel's response. He sighed softly and shook his head. After scribbling something down, he passed it back to Axel.

_"You're going to have to tell him eventually."_Axel rolled his eyes. As if such a thing could actually happen in reality. He wrote his response underneath Zexion's and quickly threw it back at him.

_"You know I've tried."_Axel sneered at Zexion's response. He balled the paper up in his fist, slamming it down on his desk furiously. Beside him, Zexion rolled his eyes and continued taking his notes. He honestly didn't understand why he even bothered with the ill-tempered redhead, and couldn't begin to wrap his head around what Demyx saw in him.

"I know you have done no such thing, Axel. Honestly, Roxas and myself are ready to tell him regardless of whether you want us to or not. This is ridiculous."

_"Who the fuck asked you, anyway?"_

_"Even Namine is growing tired of this, and you know how sickeningly patient she is."_

_"Fuck you."_

_"Six months, Axel. Your apology and explanation are long overdue."_

Zexion sighed at the thought of his best friend. The blonde had once been the source of happiness and hope in many people's lives, but that person disappeared six months ago. Along with him went the person Axel used to be. He knew it wasn't his place to get between them and force everything back into place, but every day that passed by without Demyx's smile made it harder for him, for Axel, and for everyone else. Watching Axel and Demyx not speak to each other through all of lunch and on the drive to school was too much for Zexion to bear sometimes, and he nearly blurted out everything on many occasions. He would then think of Axel, and how he wanted to be the one to explain everything to Demyx. And then he would remember that it had been six long, painful months since, and want to tell Demyx everything himself after he had promptly beaten Axel into the next century. He deserved that much.

Xemnas opened his mouth to speak again when the bell rang loudly from the intercom. Axel sighed, giving his millionth drawing of Demyx and his missing smile one last glance before slamming his binder shut.

_**"The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"**_

The cafeteria provided some sort of comfort for Axel. The loud chatter of all the other students around them, the smell and sight of food, they all take his mind off of it. That is, until Demyx sits down next to him.

He tries his _hardest_ the entire lunch period to not stare at him, which is quite the challenge, considering how undeniably _gorgeous _Demyx is. Just one mere glance in his direction, and all Axel can think about is how beautiful he is _under_ his clothes and-- He then shakes his head, and scolds himself for thinking of Demyx in such a way, especially since...

To avoid all of this, Axel usually brings over Larxene, his girlfriend. He knew very well he should have picked someone else instead of her. Partly because of how damn _clingy_ she is.

He walked into the cafeteria with Roxas and Zexion on one side of him, Larxene on the other and her hand in his. Whenever he was with Larxene, he always caught Zexion's annoyed looks of death. He tried avoiding them, only to find it was utterly impossible because of the degree to which Zexion glared at him.

If the dark-haired teen had lasers pointing out of his eyes, Axel would have died right at the beginning of lunch.

Larxene had situated herself right in between her redhead boyfriend and Demyx, a move Axel hadn't protested. With his mask set perfectly in place, he joked around and laughed with Larxene, the same way he did everyday. He slipped in a few kisses here and there, and ignored all of the death looks coming at him from across the table. Most notably, he ignored Roxas, Zexion and Riku, the three who gave him the dirtiest looks of everyone at the table.

Riku leaned toward Roxas, who had his milk carton gripped in his fist so tightly his knuckles were white, and hissed, "If Demyx wasn't still madly in love with him, I _swear _I'd go over there and bash his head into commission."

The blonde nodded, seething. Although Axel was his best friend, Roxas had to admit: he _was_ very stupid at times.

"What is he _thinking_...?" the sophomore wondered aloud. His two companions shook their heads. Beside Riku, Sora sighed and shook his head. "They were so happy...I can't believe he let _one_ mistake ruin everything."

"If he was trying to fill the void Demyx left, he could have gotten someone better than _Larxene_," Zexion spat angrily. "She _is _partly responsible for what happened. And I really don't want to become dependent on Tylenol to relieve myself of these chronic headaches she causes."

Zexion was continuing to glare into the side of Axel's head when something caught his eye. He glanced over at the blonde sitting next to the couple, and his heart fell. Demyx was looking at them out of the corner of his eye longingly, trying to keep his gaze down at the food in front of him and failing miserably. He quickly looked away and tangled a hand in his hair to shield himself from the two lovers. Zexion felt his heart shatter when the light caught a stray tear rolling down Demyx's cheek.

Without hesitating, Zexion stood up and rushed over to his best friend. Demyx simply stood up without Zexion even trying to persuade him. The two weaved their way through the throngs of students and out of the cafeteria into the courtyard. When they were on the almost opposite side of the campus, Demyx collapsed onto the bench and buried his face in his hands as his tears flowed freely. Zexion sat down next to him and wrapped his arms around his shoulders tightly.

"H-how is she s-so much better than m-me?!" Demyx cried, his entire body shaking. "How am I n-not enough...!?"

"Demyx, shh..." Zexion whispered. "It's okay...you're so much better than her...Axel's just...being an idiot."

_'Nice, Zexion. That will really make him feel better.'_Demyx said nothing more, just gripped Zexion's shirt tightly in his fists and sobbed into it. He pictured Axel's face in his mind, the face that smiled at _him_ and had eyes only for _him_, and pretended that was the real Axel. Whether or not this actually helped, Demyx did not know. But he just did it every time he couldn't stand just how much he missed the fiery redhead in hopes that it would bring back better memories of him.Zexion had struggled, and often felt that he failed, to keep Demyx in one piece for the past six months. It had been a rough and hard journey, and there were days he was certain he had failed Demyx as a best friend. But then Demyx would tell him it's okay and muster the smallest smile he could, for Zexion's sake. Both often wondered who was trying to make whom feel better, and about what.

It was times like these, when Zexion couldn't find the words as Demyx cried and cried, that he knew he had failed.

_'Tell him.'_He found it hard to ignore the voice of reason in his head, especially when that voice was screaming at the top of its lungs. So what if he told Demyx? Demyx deserved to hear the truth, even if it wasn't from Axel. If Demyx knew what was really going on inside of Axel's head, then maybe, just maybe...

"Demyx?"

Both looked up and there stood Axel, his gaze locked on the blonde in question. Demyx quickly looked away and wiped his tears furiously with the back of his hand. Zexion glared at him and looked away also, unable to face him with Demyx in this condition.

"Leave, Axel," Zexion snarled. "You have no business here."

"I just wanted to see what was wrong."

Zexion nearly bashed his head in against the concrete. Whatever Demyx once saw in him was completely obsolete. The small violet-haired teen wanted to scream and yell every insult he knew at Axel and take out every ounce of his anger on the source of it. He nearly let out a shriek of annoyance when he remembered who was next to him and desperately trying to keep everything inside.

"Demyx," Axel tried again. "What is it?"

Demyx shook his head and didn't respond. Zexion sighed, and, as diplomatic has he could, said, "I'm sorry, Axel. I don't think he's going to say anything."

The junior sighed heavily and dropped his head down. Without another word, he turned and left in the direction of the cafeteria. When Demyx was sure he was out of earshot, the mask he had tried to piece together crumbled into dust. Zexion wordlessly took him into his arms and just let him cry.

It was all Zexion knew how to do at this point.

* * *

_Demyx's entire body shook uncontrollably. He could barely breathe through all of his tears, hiccuping and panting to get oxygen into his system. Beside him, Zexion sat hopelessly as he watched his best friend spiral violently downward with no signs of stopping._

_"...we were so happy..." Demyx breathed, wiping a tear with the sleeve of his jacket. "...I love him so much..."_

_Zexion opened his mouth to speak, hesitated, then said nothing. Anything he could say would be completely inappropriate and make Demyx feel worse. So he settled for silence, listening and watching as Demyx's heart shattered right before his eyes._

_It was then Zexion began to resent, perhaps even hate, Axel with everything he had._

**_" 'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away"_**

* * *

..»A/N: Lyrics from "Broken" by Seether featuring Amy Lee (The Punisher Soundtrack).

..»I FINALLY got this posted. A few months ago, this story came to me out of no where and nagged the hell out of me, demanding that I write it whenever I had the chance. So, here it is! Umm, yeah, just let me know what you think. I'm hoping this will span out across many chapters, and that I can make it to eight or nine of them.

..»Remember: **REVIEWS ARE YOUR FRIENDS!**


	2. Locked the Door and Threw Away the Key

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 2: Locked the Door and Threw Away the Key  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to gothboymylove, for being my first reviewer! And for favoriting the story as well as adding it to the alert list! Thank you! :D  
..»**A/N:** Everything in italics, with the exception of what is inside apostrophe's ( 'like this' ), are flashbacks. The italics following the song lyrics is describing a flashback. However, the italics following it are thoughts. I hope that clears up any confusion... Oh, and Larxene is a bit OOC...but that's okay. Because I don't really like Larxene...at all...she was hard in CoM. :(

* * *

**_"You put up walls and paint them all a shade of grey  
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
And you come away with a great little story  
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you"_**

_"Hey! Watch out!"_

_Demyx looked up from the guitar currently in his lap. He saw a black and white soccer ball sailing through the air towards him and a tall JV player chasing after it. The ball landed on the ground with a thud, rolling towards Demyx and coming to a stop at his feet. He bent over and picked up the wet, grassy ball and tossed it back to the person it had come from._

_The only thing Demyx could think was, 'Wow.'_

_Standing before him was possibly the most gorgeous person he had ever seen. He was hypnotized by the tall freshman's bright green eyes that contrasted beautifully with his equally vibrant mane of unruly red hair. His skin was tanned slightly and beneath it were carefully sculpted muscles rippling with every move he made. Demyx felt his heart stop when the soccer player smiled and revealed a set of stunning white teeth._

_He caught the ball easily and smiled again, waving a little at Demyx. After lingering for a moment and gazing into blue oceanic eyes, he turned and ran back towards were the soccer teams were practicing._

_Demyx released a breath he didn't know he had been holding and gripped onto his guitar for support. His stomach was in knots and his legs were too weak to move. The player's eyes and smile had caused Demyx to nearly pass out right there underneath the tree where he was sitting. Suddenly a happy, sweet melody played itself out in his mind and Demyx's fingers tingled with the irrepressible ruge to play it. Returning his attention to his guitar, he took his pick in his fingers and began playing the tune._

_What surprised Demyx more than anything was the fact that a total stranger had inspired this._

* * *

_'...what happened...?'_

Demyx sat in sixth period history folding over the corners of his papers into little triangles. He knew he should have been paying attention to the power point on the projector screen and his teacher droning on and on, but the importance of Ansem the Wise and his research on darkness paled next to the pain in his heart.

Seeing Axel and Larxene hours ago at lunch had been unbearable. He had acted as if nothing was wrong, and all that mattered was the whiney bleached-blonde girl beside him. Since the split months ago, Axel had cut off contact with Demyx as much as possible. Demyx wasn't sure if that helped him or made him feel worse. His entire junior year had been absolutely miserable; they had broken up back in October, only two months of this school year happy in the least bit. When Axel asked him out on that first date freshman year, Demyx had been sure they would be together forever.

...but his forever only lasted a year and six months.

His thoughts were interrupted by the bell resounding through the silent room. Without a word, Demyx stood up, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and headed out. In the hall, he shifted through the droves of students barring his path to his locker. Even opening his locker reminded him of the redhead. Back when they had first gotten together, Zexion had helped Demyx change his locker combination to Axel's birthday.

Everywhere he went, there was always some reminder of Axel. It wasn't always obvious, and often didn't directly link to him. But somehow, Demyx found a way to find a connection between an object of some sort and Axel. Like the black button-down shirt a girl was wearing a few lockers down from him. Axel had once said that he loved it when Demyx wore his version of the same type of shirt.

That had been about a year ago, not long after their anniversary.

Demyx sighed. Swim practice was _not_ on his list of things he wanted to do. Number one of that list was going home and hiding in his bed while he cried on the phone with Zexion. He sighed heavily and grabbed his chemistry book, then removed his algebra and English binders from his backpack and replaced them with his chemistry and history ones. He then slammed the metal door shut with a loud _slam_ and locked it. He turned back around and nearly crashed into his worst nightmare: _Larxene_.

He was even more disgusted with her looking at her up close. It had been torture to watch her in Axel's arms, but actually _seeing_ her made Demyx want to throw up. She had bleachy-blonde hair, the kind where the roots are still a natural blonde but the rest of it looks like the wrong end of massive highlights. While he wasn't remotely familiar with female fashion trends, he knew that Larxene's hair was just down right _awful_. And her lime green eyeshadow didn't help things a bit, especially since she had electric green eyes as it was. Demyx was somewhat tempted to tell her that the eighties wanted their clothes back.

_'He dumped me for __**this**_

"Oh! Hi Demyx!" she chirped, brushing a heavily bleached lock of hair out of her eyes. Demyx simply nodded in response, smiling weakly. "Was something wrong today at lunch? You and Zexion just kinda ran off! And then Axelly left, too!"

Demyx nearly winced. Hearing Larxene using such an _awful _nickname for the boy he was in love with was almost as painful as watching her kiss him. Almost.

"...I'm kind of going through something right now," he replied. "Zexion was just making me feel better. And Axel--" saying his name nearly burned his throat "--just wanted to see what was wrong."

"Oh..." she seemed to look thoughtful. "Well, I hope you get through it!"

_'If you would kindly go die somewhere, then I probably could.'_

"...thanks."

With a bright smile, Larxene scampered off to the end the hall, where none other than Axel was waiting. The two greeted each other, and Axel pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Demyx looked away quickly, pretending to be interested in his locker.

What he didn't see was Axel looking over his shoulder at him miserably.

* * *

"Are you sure you can ride with him today?"

Zexion was leaning against the tiled wall in the boys' swimming locker room. Demyx had showered and changed out of his trunks back into his regular clothes, and was in the process of pulling on his shoes when his violet-haired best friend walked in. He had been trying to convince the blonde to get a ride with him instead of Axel, knowing how hard it would be on Demyx. While he knew his friend was extremely stubborn and would want to ride home with Axel like he normally did, Zexion tried anyway.

"I'll be fine, Zexion," Demyx repeated, combing his hair with his fingers. "It's not like I've never done this before."

"You've never had him chauffeur you after breaking down at lunch, or at any point during the day," Zexion argued. "I don't recommend it, Demyx. What if she's there with him?"

"She won't be," Demyx replied. "You worry way too much."

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "Have you memorized the times she and Axel are together?"

"No," Demyx spat. "She gets a ride from that one guy...Marlboro or something like that."

"You mean _Marluxia_?"

"Yeah, that guy." Demyx shoved everything in his tiny sports locker haphazardly. Beside him, Zexion sighed and shook his head. "Demyx, I must say I strongly disagree. However...I can't stop you. Call me when you've arrived at Luxord's, all right?"

"Yes, Mom," Demyx responded with a slam of his locker. After gathering his backpack and chemistry textbook, he and Zexion headed out of the deserted locker room.

_**"You never did give a damn thing honey  
But I cried, cried for you  
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody  
If I died, died for you  
Died for you"**_

* * *

Axel stuffed his shin guards into his black soccer duffel bag angrily. Larxene stood nearby, biting her lip nervously as she dug her nails into her algebra two textbook. She had been debating over whether or not to ask him what was wrong, but hadn't arrived at a decision, afraid that if she were to ask him he would snap at her and avoid her like he did sometimes. Ignoring her better judgement, she said in a small voice, "Axel...you've been like this since lunch. What's wrong?"

Her boyfriend simply remained silent as he shoved his cleats into the bag.

How foolish she had been to think he would talk easily. Taking his silence as a good sign, she persisted. "...is it because of..._Demyx_?"

She suddenly regretted mentioning the blonde's name. Axel's ex..._boyfriend_ was a touchy subject between the two. Axel never spoke of their break-up prior to he and Larxene hooking up, and Larxene often wondered what caused it. That usually ended her train of thought on the matter, mostly because once she remembered that _she_ had Axel and not _him_, she really didn't care. It also slightly disturbed her that her boyfriend had been..._gay_ for at least two years, and had suddenly become straight. Her conceited side would then take over and she would tell herself it was because she was just so fabulous.

But whenever she brought Demyx into the conversation, Axel fell silent and was angry. She really didn't understand why, and part of her really didn't want to know.

"...maybe," he growled.

"Axel, you didn't do _anything_," she insisted. "Who really cares if he's upset that you're dating a girl? Like you _should_? He--"

"_I _care, Larxene," Axel interrupted, glaring at her. "That's who."

"Why, though?" It was times like these when Axel really wished he had it in him to _kill _her.

"What the hell does it matter to you, anyway?" he snapped, zipping his bag angrily. "Since when have you ever actually _cared_ about any of that?"

She looked at him as if he had morphed into an alien and glared at him. Laxene opened her mouth to speak, but couldn't quite make the words come out. And then, in an uncharacteristic move, Axel smiled suddenly and reached out to tickle her stomach. "I'm kidding. I really _don't _care. I don't know what his problem is."

Uttering such a lie nearly made Axel throw up. So did touching her.

Larxene smiled back and swatted his hand away. "I _hate_ it when you do that."

"That's why I do it," he replied, standing up off of the bright green grass. Slinging the duffel bag over his shoulder, Axel took his girlfriend's hand and walked off the field towards the parking lot.

* * *

Demyx shook out his wet hair as he waited for Axel to drive around the front of the school and pick him up. This was always the hardest part of the day. Sitting alone with Axel in his car reminded him of all of the times they had driven to the empty field behind the school at two in the morning and tackled each other into his backseat. When Zexion was sitting next to him, those thoughts were far from his mind and he could focus on other things...like the times they ditched him and Roxas because they were too tired from sex the night before.

He looked up when he heard the loud hum of Axel's engine approaching. Much to his surprise, Larxene was no where to be found inside of the car with the redhead. Demyx gathered his things and went over to the shiney red vehice, trying to balance everything in his arms as he opened the passenger door. He dumped everything on the floor in front of the seat and slid in, slamming the door beside him. Once he had fastened his seat belt, Axel sped out of the parking lot.

The two rode in silence. Not even the radio, the normal sound in Axel's car after soccer and swim practices, was on. His hand was tangled in his red hair and his eyes fixed on the road. He appeared to be concentrating on something, but Demyx couldn't think of anything Axel even had to concentrate on.

He nearly jumped when the redhead's voice suddenly filled the silent car, "...have you ever regretted something so much you just wanted to _die_?"

Demyx blinked. Where had _that_ come from?

"...n-no," Demyx stammered. "Why? Have you?"

Axel looked out his window at the yellow, orange, and cream-colored buildings of Twilight Town and closed his eyes. Demyx then noticed that they had stopped at a red light. "Yeah."

_'...I just wish I knew how to tell you...'_

He knew very well where the blonde was going to go with this. Because Axel had admitted regretting something, Demyx would make it his problem, too, and try to pry into Axel's head until he could fix it. But this wasn't a problem Demyx had to fix, or even could fix, and Axel didn't feel it was the right time or place to tell him the horrible truth of what he had done.

Just as he had predicted, Demyx asked in small voice, "...what happened?"

The redhead kept his eyes closed and remained silent for a minute. He then opened them and looked back out at the road just as the light was changing to green. "I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

Not only had Axel pretty much stopped talking to Demyx altogether, but he stopped talking _period_. It was odd for him, especially since he was such a chatterbox and always had something to say. He had asked Roxas about it many, many times. Roxas had never given him a straight forward answer, more of something along the lines of Axel locking a hypothetical door and throwing away the key. More like incenerating it, the blonde had once said.

Demyx desperately wished he could find the key.

Silence settled back over the two in an uncomfortable heaviness. Neither said another word the whole drive.

* * *

_He was definitely going to be late._

_Demyx slammed his locker shut and hurriedly placed the lock back in its position on the door. Not bothering to even put his binders in his unzipped backpack, Demyx ran down the halls with an armful of textbooks and binders. He was so focused on arriving to algebra on time that he wasn't paying attention to others around him, and collided with someone head-on._

_It took Demyx a second to realize he had crashed into someone and that his belongings were now scattered all over the hallway floor. He immediately began collecting everything, his voice panicked as he exclaimed, "Oh my God! I'm so sorry! I was in a hurry and--"_

_He stopped short when a hand accidentally laid itself over his as he reached for his notebook. When he looked up, his heart began to race wildly._

_Staring back at him was the gorgeous soccer player from the day before._

_Both blushed and looked away, mumbling apologies with wide smiles on their faces. Demyx grabbed his notebook and shoved it somewhere, as well as all of his other papers and folders and such. When he stood up, the player was still standing there smiling at him._

_He was even more beautiful up close._

_"I'm Axel," the redhead said, holding out his hand. Demyx looked at it before taking it into his and shaking it. He smiled back at him and replied, "Demyx." Axel stared into Demyx's eyes for a few seconds, before he whispered in a barely audible voice, "You have beautiful eyes, Demyx."_

_The blonde blushed profusely and looked at the fake tile floor beneath his feet. He shifted nervously and fidgeted with the papers that stuck out haphazardly from his textbooks. "Th-thank you..."_

_The only complete thought that passed through Axel's head was, 'He's so cute.'_

_Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the warning bell resounded through the hall. Demyx shrieked out of surprise and exclaimed, "I'm going to be late!" He grabbed Axel's hand and shook it vigorously. "It was really nice meeting you, Axel! Gotta go!"_

_Demyx rushed past him and ran down the hall. Axel turned and watched him, his smile still lingering, until he couldn't see the blonde anymore._

**_"Oh, what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
Every smile you fake is so condescending  
Counting all the scars you made  
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through  
I've never been anywhere cold as you"_**

* * *

..»A/N: Lyrics from "Cold As You" by Taylor Swift (Taylor Swift).

..»Annnndd here's chapter two. Not a very eventful chapter, however there are plenty of those in store. Next chapter...might have something. Not for sure yet. But things will begin to pick up speed very soon...

..»Now if you will be so kind, **a review or two **would be absolutely FABULOUS.


	3. Underneath It All

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 3: Underneath It All  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to Xaic and maidenmonster, the most recent reviewers! Thank you!

* * *

**_"I was sitting on my doorstep,  
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand  
But I knew I had to do it,  
And he wouldn't understand"_**

_"Axel, wait! Where are you going?!"_

_He ignored Roxas's angry protests and pushed his way through all of the students barring his path. Trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, he hurriedly wiped away the tears that had fallen uncontrollably from his eyes. A hiccup and sob painfully escaped his throat. Once he had ducked behind a wall out on the patio, he felt his knees crumble from underneath him and he collapsed onto the ground in a mess of tears. In his chest, his heart felt like it was about to burst from the pain he felt._

_Approaching footsteps grew louder and Roxas crouched down beside him. His infinitely blue eyes had expanded to the size of saucers with worry and fear as he gazed down at his sobbing best friend. Behind him stood Naminé, whose eyes were wide, also as she watched Axel breaking down worriedly. In a small voice, Roxas said, "Axel...what's going on?"_

_The redhead reached out and gripped Roxas's shirt, his hand shaking vigorously. His voice was weak and equally shaky as he groaned back, "W-what have I done...?!"_

_Roxas began to panic. He had never seen Axel in such a state of distress, much less crying hysterically. He gripped Axel's shoulders tightly and steadied him. "Axel, what happened? What did you do?"_

_He silently looked up at his best friend, and Roxas felt his heart fall. Axel's normally bright green eyes were puffy and red as they overflowed with tears onto his rosy cheeks. His usually kempt hair was a mess from being gripped in his iron fists. Roxas could barely understand him as he whispered, "...I broke up with Demyx..."_

_Roxas's jaw dropped. Naminé gasped and unconciously covered her mouth with her hands._

_"...why...?"_

_Axel continued to gaze at him miserably, and began explaining the events of three nights before._

* * *

Roxas groaned and ran a hand through his blonde hair, frustrated. His hand dropped back to his side with a loud_ smack_, one that Zexion heard on the other side of the phone and wondered if his blonde friend had made a hole in a wall. The sophomore nearly fired off a string of steady curses, but bit his tounge since Naminé, his long-time girlfriend, was also on the line via Zexion's three-way calling ability.

"Yes, it made me want to scream, too," Zexion said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. "Roxas, please enlighten me as to when your best friend became such an idiot."

Roxas adored Axel. He admired him in so many ways. There had been many times he wished he could _be _Axel: his body was flawless, his face was perfect, he was an amazing artist and could draw anything he saw in a matter of minutes, he was the star of the varsity soccer team and had at least four colleges looking at him with full scholarships, his GPA was through the roof because of the thousands of AP classes Zexion had convinced him to take, countless girls (and not to mention _guys_) were always swooning over him...the list of amazing things about him was endless.

But of all the things Axel had that Roxas wanted, he wanted more than _anything_ to be the perfect lover the way he was.

Axel and Demyx had never fought. Not once. Disagreements between them had been rare. They fit together so _perfectly_, the way you only see in the movies and, in some cases, even better than that. Axel treated Demyx like he was a god, and Demyx treated Axel in the same way. Axel never said anything bad about Demyx, and never _once_ was annoyed with him. While Axel _had_ made possibly the worst (and stupidest) mistake ever, while he and Demyx were together, Axel was absolutely perfect.

Roxas's relationship with Naminé was completely different. They disagreed on almost _everything_, fought over stupid petty stuff all the time, and didn't even seem like they _liked _each other sometimes. Roxas knew if was mostly his fault for being so impatient, something Axel was not.

Even with Axel's stupid mistake, he was still the person Roxas would _die _to be.

"He had the _perfect_ chance to tell him!" Naminé added. She sighed and flopped down on her bed, her hair splaying out wildly about her. "He even--"

"Initiated the conversation perfectly, I know," the violet-haired junior finished. He pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, trying to preventing an oncoming headache very much in vain. Any time Axel came into the picture and some other stupid thing he did was brought to Zexion's attention, he immediately got a headache. Whether it was because his brain was ready to ponder the reasons why, as he had so many times, or was so annoyed he got a headache, Zexion did not know.

Back on Roxas's end, he sighed heavily and ran through the events of six months ago in his head for about the millionth time. "Zex, I really wish I could answer that one. But I can't decide if it was before or after the party."

"I'm voting on before," Naminé answered.

"I second that," Zexion added. "He knew very well the potential consequences of going to a party alone _without _Demyx. It angers me to even think that he thought he alcohol would not be served at a high school party and that Larxene wouldn't be there. In addition to many other females, might I add."

"But he still could have made it _better_ if he hadn't tried to cover it up," Naminé threw in.

"Indeed," Zexion replied. "His stupidity intensified to a negative degree."

"We have to find a way to make Axel talk," Roxas decided firmly. "This has gone on way to long. Seeing them everyday, not even looking at each other...it's too much. I can't take it anymore."

"And Demyx is worsening exponentially with each passing week," Zexion sighed. "I can't imagine what must be running through Axel's head as he watches Demyx deteriorate."

"He's a mess," Roxas filled in, sighing. "He puts on an act for Larxene so she won't suspect anything. She believes it, but...Axel's been getting worse, too."

"Any ideas?" Zexion asked. Naminé sighed and blew a stray piece of hair out of her face. Roxas scratched the back of his blonde head as he tried to think. Zexion twirled his pencil in his fingers as he stared blankly at his AP Hollow Bastion History homework.

On her end, Naminé perked up and said, "Oh! We could ask Riku. He should know. After all, he got you and me together, Roxas."

Roxas gasped. How had he never thought of that before?! Next to him, Riku was Axel's closest friend. Closer than Zexion. Riku and Axel had been playing soccer together since they were little kids. _Of course_ he would know how to get under Axel's skin and make him talk. He had experience with relationships that none of them had combined. Like Naminé had said, he _had _gotten once upon a time hopeless-with-girls Roxas to ask her out. That, and he and Sora had been together _forever_ and were showing no signs of stopping.

Just like Axel and Demyx had been.

"Naminé, you are an absolute _genius_!" Roxas cried loudly. Zexion held the phone away from his ear and winced at the roar on the other side. Naminé smiled and said, "I figured you had already thought of it so I didn't say anything."

"You really need to learn to speak up," Zexion sighed. "Especially when the rest of us are completely hopeless."

"Okay, so tomorrow at lunch," Roxas began, a plan hatching in his mind. "We need to ask Riku. God, I _can't_ believe neither of us thought of this, Zexion. He probably has a gazillion ideas."

"Probably," Zexion agreed. "Roxas, honestly. What in the world would you be without Naminé? I swear, if she wasn't around, you would lose track of your own head."

Naminé laughed and Roxas smiled. Without Naminé, the past few months would have been unbearable. With Axel and Demyx completely miserable, Roxas needed something to fall back on when he couldn't take it anymore. Naminé had been there right beside him, and never, _ever_ complained about anything Roxas did to keep them in one piece. He often had to cancel their plans, and had to cut a date short. She was always getting the short end of the stick. He felt awful about it, and had been wanting to make it up to her, but that was always when Axel or Demyx called him up in a mess of tears.

Riku had answered his prayers once, and he could definitely do it again.

_**"So hard to see myself without him  
I felt a piece of my heart break  
But when you're standing at a crossroad,  
There's a choice you gotta make"**_

* * *

Axel sighed and wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He had been sitting at his easel for nearly three hours and his hands were covered in various shades of blue, green, purple, and yellow. The only thing that was ever able to distract him from Demyx was painting, when he was completely absorbed in the paints and his canvas. Once he started, he couldn't stop, and he couldn't veer from the current painting he was working on. When he had something easy to wander with, like a pencil, that was when he thought about Demyx most. Partly because he was drawing him nearly one hundred percent of the time.

He looked over his finished work carefully, taking in each detail and analyzing his work. Zexion had been nice enough to let Axel use one of his photographs of a beach trip they had taken last spring break. It had been one of Axel's favorites, a purplish-blue sunset Zexion had captured so perfectly, and he had been dying to do _something_ with it. Maybe his demon of a painting teacher would _finally_ shut up about how he never does anything.

...and maybe everything he did really had a connection with Demyx in some way.

After Zexion had taken that picture, Axel had convinced Demyx to watch the sunrise with him the next morning and the two had nearly stripped each other completely caught up in wild kisses when Roxas and Naminé came along for an early morning stroll. The two were blushing furiously the entire day afterwards.

In his painting, he had half-considered painting Demyx and himself in, but quickly decided against it. Drawing him was hard enough. _Painting_ him would be torture.

_Torture_...

As the word merely crossed his thoughts, Axel glanced around the silent house surrounding him. The house that _shouldn't _have been silent. It should have been filled with the gentle strums of Demyx's guitar and the softness of his voice as he sang to himself. Roxas should have been there, too, filling the entire house with the blaze machine guns and fits of rage as the annoying game over warble droned on for the millionth time. Sharing the couch with an infuriated Roxas was supposed to be Zexion, struggling to study amidst the cacophony of video game noises and Demyx's playing.

He closed his eyes and imagined the noises and sights he dearly missed around him. He saw Zexion pinching the bridge of his nose as he often does when he gets a headache, and Roxas screaming incredulously at the TV, and, of course, Demyx sitting by himself on the loveseat in his own world as he strummed quietly and sang softly. He imagined himself drawing beside Demyx as he listened to him hum and sing, or nearby at his easel.

His eyes fluttered open, and his heart sank when he remembered that he was alone.

Painting Demyx would have been so small a feat compared to the true torture he faced everyday: living without Demyx right there beside him.

Having lived alone since he was almost sixteen, Axel didn't think being alone would bother him so much. Truthfully, it hadn't...until Demyx moved in with him at _Axel_'s request. He thought he could just go back to how things were after he had been legally emancipated from his "father" (the thought of such a word made Axel want to gouge his eyes out). Every now and then, a few friends would stop by or spend the night or something, and he'd be okay with it.

But...when Demyx slept in the same bed as him that first night, somewhere in the back of Axel's mind, he knew. He knew that he couldn't sleep in his bed another night without Demyx there beside him. And waking up that next morning...that was _heaven_. He had rolled over and smiled when he met Demyx's eyes, then kissed him and wondered how he had gone through his entire life without him. Especially the agonizing, painful four years he had escaped not that long ago. He wondered how he had simply taken the abuse and never told Roxas, until the blonde happened to see the scars and bruises one night.

...how _had_ he taken it?

There had been _no one _in his life like Demyx. Demyx had come in and saved him from nearly falling over the edge into depression. Sure, his mom had been there, too, but she also had been completely in the dark like Roxas. After all, how was he supposed to tell her the love of her life was beating the crap out of her son when she wasn't around? Especially when she stopped coming around altogether? Demyx had_ always _been there and never left him alone like she had. Until six months ago, of course. But that had been Axel's doing.

In some ways, he blamed her for what his father did to him in his drunken rages. Only weeks after she had left, which had been a mere month after Axel's twelfth birthday, it began. The excessive drinking, the hitting, the beating...it had sort of been all her fault. It wasn't until high school and Axel started driving and playing soccer again that he finally escaped and Roxas finally did something about it. And, of course, when he met Demyx.

He had been ready to just let it all go. He was so ready to just say hell with everything and let himself spiral downwards until there was no where left to go. That fateful day, he had been considering giving up soccer and everything else when the ball rolled under that tree, hit that boy's foot, and he looked into those eyes...

And then he knew. There was no going back. He had been smitten immediately, and couldn't stop thinking about him the rest of practice. The whole drive home, he had been thinking of him. Suddenly, everything else in his life didn't matter. His parents didn't matter, the pain he felt through his entire body didn't matter, all that mattered was _him_ and getting him. It was that night, that night as he laid in bed and thought, that he decided he would do everything in his power to make that boy want him as badly as Axel did.

It had been a Saturday afternoon. Roxas had been on the phone with various attorneys and investigators and, at last, found someone who would support Axel's case for almost nothing. Once he hung up and told Axel and they had celebrated, the redhead told his best friend about Demyx and how he wanted to change to win him over and be someone he hadn't been in years. Roxas and Demyx's friend Zexion immediately began tutoring him and within a few weeks, Axel passed the exam that allowed him into the Advanced Placement program at school. He started meeting up with Riku and his other soccer friends on the weekends and practiced with them until he could barely stand.

And in the middle of everything, he and Demyx started falling in love.

Axel was a completely different person. He could barely even remember the four years of his life that had turned everything into a complete nightmare. All he could think about was _Demyx_ and soccer and school and clubs. He and Demyx went to a movie or something almost every week. They got in Axel's car and just drove somewhere. Demyx spent the night at Axel's so many times it was almost like he lived there. Luxord, Demyx's brother, was moving to Hollow Bastion to go to college, and that was when Demyx _really_ lived there.

He couldn't remember being happier. Demyx had been everything he dreamed he would be and _so_ much more. And then..._that_ night happened.

Axel should have known better. He had seen what too much drinking could do a person. He knew very well what would happen if he let himself go. Even so, knowing all of that...he did. And when he woke up that next morning with a severe hangover and sixteen missed calls and remembered what happened, the entire world crashed down on him. The only thing he could think of was Demyx, and how he had destroyed the past two years of his life as well as the best thing to _ever _happen to him.

There had been other choices. He could have calmly explain everything. Demyx probably would have forgiven him. But he had been to blind to see any of it.

And so, to punish himself, he broke it off. He had been hoping it would be okay. That everything would work out and Demyx would forget about it and they could be friends...somehow. He hoped Zexion would show him mercy and not kill him.

But Axel's been wrong before.

* * *

_With a heavy heart, Axel shoved his key into the lock on his front door. He turned it and pulled it back out, gripped the doorhandle and walked inside. His backpack slid off his shoulder and he threw it onto the couch across the room. Running a hand through his unruly red hair, he made his way down the hallway into the bedroom he and Demyx shared. He gripped the doornob tightly and swung it open, freezing in his tracks._

_Half of the closet was empty. Dresser drawers had been yanked out and half of the clothes that were supposed to be there were gone. Guitars and music notes and CD's that normally littered the floor were no where in sight. Posters and pictures that hung on the now-bare white walls had been ripped down and all that remained where the pushpins that once held them up. Shelves that were hung on the walls and held random nicknacks were empty. The only things left...were Axel's._

_Shock overwhelmed him and all of his strength abandoned him. His legs sank underneath him and he fell against the doorframe, his eyes glued on the baren room. Understanding slowly entered his mind and sank in. He curled himself into a ball and burried his face in his arms. A strangled sob ripped from his lips, his body shaking as he cried for what felt like the hundredth time that day._

_...but...what had he been expecting? Had he been expecting him to stay, after what Axel had done...?_

_His vision was blurry from tears as he looked around the room once more. Then, something black in the midst of white, beige, and a mess of drawing books and sketchbooks caught his eye. He wiped his tears and blinked, unable to believe what he was seeing. With a shaky hand, he reached out and touched the object, nearly crying out again when he discovered it was really there. He drew it to him and burried his face in it, inhaling it deeply as the tears flowed freely and the sobs escaped._

_In his haste, the blonde had neglected to pack one of his shirts._

_It happened to be Axel's favorite shirt. The shirt he had been wearing the first night they had sex._

_His face still engulfed by the soft black material that smelled of the only person he had ever loved, Axel reached into his pocket and dug out his cell phone. He hovered over the buttons until he reached one, pressed it, then moved over to three and pressed it as well. He hit the talk button and held it up to his ear._

_It rang a few times, and then a familiar voice picked up._

_"...R-Roxas...he's gone..."_

**_"I guess it's gonna have to hurt  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry  
And let go of some things I've loved  
To get to the other side  
I guess it's gonna break me down  
Like falling when you try to fly  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life  
Starts with goodbye"_**

* * *

..»A/N: Lyrics from "Starts With Goodbye" by Carrie Underwood (Some Hearts).

..»Yay another chapter! This was was somewhat uneventful...again...but it did provide some necessary background on Axel. Next chapter will have a secret plan and some info on Demyx :)

..»Remember: **REVIEWS ARE YOUR FRIENDS!**


	4. Secret Plans Are Set Into Motion

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 4: Secret Plans Are Set Into Motion  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to me. Because I had one hell of a time trying to get the formatting right with 's new stylizing rules.

* * *

**_"Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you  
Maybe turning my back would be that much easier  
'Cause hurtful words are all that we exhange  
But I can't let you walk away  
Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?  
And all about the good times that we've been through  
Could I wake up without you every day?  
Would I let you walk away?  
No, I can't learn to live without  
And I can't give up on us now"_**

_Axel slowed his car to a stop in front of Demyx's brother's house. Beside him, the blonde in question looked over and smiled. Axel couldn't help but smile back, lost immediately in those eyes of the ocean. He gave Demyx's interlaced hand a soft squeeze and whispered, "I had a really great time tonight."_

_Demyx smiled and whispered back, "Me, too."_

_The two remained there in silence for what felt like a wonderful, heavenly eternity, their gazes fixed on one another. Axel had been contemplating a move for the four or five weeks the two had been together, but hadn't arrived at a decision. Every time he had considered it, he determined the time or place wasn't right. This had to be special and perfect, not just on a whim or somewhere they couldn't cherish it. But here and now, when they were all alone and Luxord wasn't home...it may have finally been right._

_He hesitated. Taking it too fast would have surprised Demyx more than the redhead intended to, but he couldn't just sit there like stone forever. Not moving at all would push the opportunity farther back than Axel was willing to wait. Brushing his hand across Demyx's cheek, Axel slowly, cautiously leaned forward, well aware of the pair of eyes on him. Demyx watched him carefully, his eyes flickering first with confusion and then with comprehension. Axel's eyelids drooped down and he leaned in farther. Demyx's eyes fluttered closed and the blonde, also, leaned forward._

_And then, for the first time, Axel softly, gently pressed his lips against Demyx's._

_Fireworks exploded behind Demyx's closed eyes. His heart pounded wildly in his chest and his lungs stopped working. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, hell, he couldn't even remember his own name. All he knew was Axel, and Axel's lips pressing so painfully softly against his. So he kissed Axel back, nearly collapsing into his arms at how warm his lips were. He almost whimpered when Axel's lips parted from his. Contrary to what Demyx had been expecting, Axel tangled his hands in the blonde's hair and kissed him again, this time with more force and need than before. Demyx's breath came in a wild gasp when he felt Axel's tounge running across his lips. Axel took advantage of his boyfriend's parted lips and slid his tounge inside of Demyx's mouth, who gripped Axel's hair in his fists and clung to him tighter._

_'...please...don't let this moment end...'_

* * *

A small smile lingered on Demyx's lips as he awoke. His eyes fluttered open and the smile still remained even as he remembered that he and Axel hadn't been together in months. He closed his eyes again and replayed the dream in his mind, reliving that wonderful night from over a year ago in his mind. He sighed softly as the taste of Axel's lips and the soft skin of his hands came back to him. While he knew the memory should have brough him to tears, Demyx was inexplicably happy as he thought about it.

Zexion called as usual, and was quite surprised to hear Demyx was, well, in a good mood. The violet-haired junior took this to be a good sign, and during his brief conversation with Axel, informed the redhead of it. Axel didn't really seem to care outwardly. However, Zexion knew that Axel was secretly glad Demyx was happier than usual today.

When Demyx stepped outside and climbed into Axel's car, his mood faded just barely. He would have been even happier if, of course, he and Axel were still together and Larxene was completely out of the picture.

...but part of him was content with just being in the same vicinity as Axel.

It wasn't enough, of course. There was so much more Demyx wanted with Axel than just to be sitting next to him on the drive home from school in silence, or in his back seat next to Zexion. Whether it had been the dream of that had triggered this or another outside source, Demyx was not sure. But all he knew was he suddenly, more than ever, wanted Axel back.

As much as he tried to prevent it, Demyx felt his eyes wandering from the scenery outside to the owner of a flaming mane of red hair currently occupying the driver's seat. His gazed at the back of his head for a while, before switching his gaze to the rear view mirror fixed on the windshield. His stomach twisted and turned, and his heart raged in his chest as his eyes fell upon Axel's, by far the most beautiful pair Demyx had ever seen. The car slowed to a stop, and Axel ran a hand through his red mane, a hand Demyx wished he could have been holding.

The blonde nearly gasped when Axel's eyes flickered up to the rearview mirror and met Demyx's.

In that brief second their eyes met, memories of their first kiss washed over Demyx like a huge tsunami. He could feel Axel's hands gripping his hair as his lips ravaged Demyx's own and his warm breath against Demyx's mouth. Every detail of that night was fresh in his mind as if it had all occured the night before. From the restuarant they had eaten at to the exact placement of Axel's tounge in Demyx's mouth, every bit of it hit him and nearly knocked him back. He quickly looked away, trying to slow his pounding heart.

_'Okay, just...don't think about it. Don't think about how warm his hands were and how soft his lips were and...'_

Demyx felt his gaze slipping back over to the rearview mirror. He almost let out a girlish shriek when he discovered Axel's eyes were still on him. Trying to hide the blush that had be covering his cheeks, he gripped the collar of his jacket and pulled it farther up on his neck so it covered most of his face. Next to him, Zexion was looking at him like he'd lost his mind with an eyebrow raised and one of the corners of his lips drawn up in a crooked smile. Still blushing furiously, Demyx whipped his head around to look at the scenery outside.

...but what no one else in the car saw, not even Roxas, was the small smile that spread across Axel's lips. And stayed there.

* * *

"So, Axel. You free on Saturday?"

Axel looked up at his second closest friend with an eyebrow raised in confusion. Riku was sitting next to him where Demyx normally was, looking at him intently behind his silver bangs. Axel swallowed the food he was currently chewing on and asked calmly, "Um...Riku, you do realize you're still with Sora, right?"

Riku rolled his aquamarine eyes. "Chill. I'm not asking you out. What're you doing on Saturday?"

"What I always do," Axel replied, taking another bite of his hamburger. "I'm going to sit around my house and mope about how much my life sucks. Maybe paint. I don't know. Why?"

At that moment, Axel looked up at Riku and saw a flash of excitement in his eyes. Dread quickly settled over Axel and he nearly groaned out loud. He glared at Riku and demanded, "All right. What do you want?"

"Take Larxene on a date Saturday night," Riku replied. His brows had knitted together and determination had rearranged his features. Before Axel could protest, Riku said, "Because I say so, that's why. And we're all tired of you sulking around your place without anything better to do with your time. Besides, it's been a while since you and Larxy did anything together."

Axel shuddered. He was suddenly glad Larxene had opted out of eating lunch with them and had sat with her clones. Had she been here for the conversation, right about now, she would be trying to convince Axel to agree with Riku and take her on a date. Axel suspected she liked that sort of thing because he paid for everything every time. And she would insist on him using that nickname for her.

He thought about it and sighed. There was really nothing he could use to get himself out of dinner with Larxene. Like he himself had said, his plans for the next night were to sit around missing Demyx and crying because of how alone he felt without him and maybe start painting something else. Other than that, he really didn't have anything else planned. Soccer games were during the week and not on weekends. He was stuck.

With a heavy sigh, he said, "Fine. I'll take her to dinner or something."

"Dinner it is," Riku said with a smile. So far, his plan had worked perfectly. All he needed now was to convince him to go to the restuarant. "You know, I think I heard Larxene mentioning this restuarant she likes. Something like Beautiful Garden or Radish Garden or--"

"Radiant Garden."

Axel could never forget that name. It was the restuarant where Demyx worked in the evenings. Where he sang in the evenings. Axel had stayed during his shift so many times and fallen asleep to the soft and unbearable sweet sound of Demyx's voice. Demyx would then go over and wake him up, smiling and laughing as he did and then drive them both home.

...was Riku absolutely_ insane_?

He knew very well that Demyx worked there four or five times a week. And often on Satuday nights. He glowered at his friend, thankful Demyx had decided to battle the long lunchlines, and hissed, "Demyx works there. How the hell do you expect me to go to the place he works with a girl?"

"Axel, calm down," Riku replied. "Don't worry, Demyx isn't going to be working Saturday. We already asked him."

"You...wait, you what?"

"He's kind of been freaking out lately," the silver-haired junior thought aloud. "He has a big swim meet or something coming up that he's nervous about. So don't even think you're getting out of this because of him."

"Riku, honestly, what business is it of yours when I go out with Larxene?" Axel asked, his eyebrows sinking together.

"It's my business because you're my best friend," Riku replied coolly, blowing his bangs from his eyes. "Just because you're heartless doesn't mean I am, too."

Axel rolled his eyes and groaned. "I hate you. Go jump off a cliff."

His friend smiled, flashing a set of stunning white teeth. "Sorry. I'm not that thoughtful."

Utterly annoyed with the junior next to him, Axel stood up and stormed off in the direction of the lunch lines despite already having food. Riku laughed, grating Axel's nerves even further.

"Riku," Sora whispered when he was out of earshot. "Won't Axel find out you lied to him?"

Riku smirked. "Eh, he'll get over it."

* * *

**_"Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?  
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy  
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe  
The way you know just what I mean  
No, I can't learn to live without  
So don't you give up on us now"_**

Demyx nearly yelped and his stomach almost leapt out of his body when he felt Axel's warm breath in his ear: _"I've been thinking about that kiss, too."_

He whirled around fast to see Axel stalking off quickly towards Larxene, who was bouncing up and down as she waited for him. Demyx simply stared as Axel bent down to kiss her and ruffled her hair, earning a few punches in the arm from the blonde girl. Axel smiled and laughed and pulled her into a tight hug, then took her hand and the two skipped along in the opposite direction. Demyx didn't look away even after they had walked away, hand in hand, and there was no trace of them left anywhere.

Demyx remained there, dumbfounded. Had he said...what Demyx _thought_ he had said?

Certainly that was not possible. Not in the slightest bit.

Demyx shook his head and walked in the opposite direction. No, there was definitely not a chance of such a thing being uttered from Axel's lips. Especially not now, when Axel and Larxene's five month mark was just around the corner.

He ran through the words again in his mind, trying to ascertain if he had made them up or not. Axel's voice was crystal clear in his head, and it would be extremely easy for him to just imagine the words had been said. But if he really had made the whole thing up, why did he still feel Axel's breath in his ear and the shudders that had ran down his spine? Why had it felt so real?

...had it _really_ happened afterall?

Demyx stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder where Axel and Larxene had been standing. A surge of emotions consumed him and, like he had six months ago, desperately wanted to know what Axel was thinking. He wanted to just get into the corner of his mind and listen to his thoughts, his feelings, his likes and dislikes firsthand. If he could see the thoughts processing in Axel's head, if he could know what Axel thought and felt about him, then...

He turned around and moved to walk forward when he stopped short and nearly crashed into a very surprised Riku.

"Demyx! Just the person I wanted to see," Riku said cheerfully, casually drooping an arm around the blonde's shoulders. "So. Friday. What are you doing?"

Demyx simply stared at the junior, before answering, confused, "Um...working?"

"No, you're not," Riku replied. "You're working Saturday. Because Friday night, you, me, Zexion, and Sora are all going downtown. We'll, I dunno, drink until we can barely stand or something."

What Riku had said confused Demyx greatly. Riku never asked Demyx and Zexion to go anywhere with him and Sora. If Riku was with Sora, that was it. Only Sora, no one else. It was rare Sora had gotten Riku to double-date with him and Axel, and when that did happen, Riku was glued to Sora the entire night. While Demyx was extremely suspiscious of his silver-haired friend, he had no reason to refuse. He could talk to Kairi the next day at lunch and they could switch shifts easily. Kairi could work Friday, and Demyx could work Saturday. There was nothing he could do to get himself out of this.

Finally, he sighed and gave in. "All right. I'll talk to Kairi tomorrow and we'll switch shifts."

"YES!" Riku cried, punching a fist in the air. He unexpectedly kissed Demyx's cheek, then flashed a smile and ran off towards the soccer field. Demyx watched him go, briefly wondering just what he had gotten himself into.

* * *

Sora stood by the men's locker room in the atheletic building near the soccer field. A light breeze pulled at his chunky spikes and cooled his skin. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a tall, silver-haired boy running towards him with a smile on his face as he laughed to himself. Sora smiled when their eyes met, and asked, "How'd it go?"

Riku snickered and ruffled Sora's hair. "They couldn't be more oblivious if they tried."

Sora's smile widened. He leaned forward and kissed Riku lightly, running a hand through his long hair. "Do you think...?"

His boyfriend smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I do."

* * *

Demyx's arms sliced through the water like knives as he swam back and forth through the pool. Every time he took a sharp breath, he'd hear his psycho-path of a coach screaming his head off about how they were swimming like girls and ought to speed up if they wanted to beat Hollow Bastion High. As much as Demyx wanted to take home a first place medal, what Riku had said to him earlier had his mind in a completely different place.

The one thing that had Demyx more perplexed than anything was Axel's exlusion from their outing Friday. Surely Riku would be trying to get them back together, despite the heartbreak that Demyx was still recovering from. His heart was torn in two wanting Axel to be secretly included and wanting him to be uninvited so they would finally stop making the wounds hurt even more. He didn't know which he hoped for more, nor whether one situation would be better than the other.

_'...Axel...'_

He flipped around and swam in the opposite direction. Xigbar was still ranting and raving about how their strokes needed to be faster and this, that, and the other if they wanted to win. As much as he pushed and fought, Demyx just couldn't find the will power to go his fastest.

That day was clear in his mind. The memory of it remained with a clarity he didn't have with any other memory. Not even his three top favorite moments with Axel. Maybe that was because the day they met had, in effect, caused the other three to happen. He could still see Axel's vibrant green eyes and how sharply they contrasted against his fiery-red hair. Every detail of that day was perfectly in tact in his memories. The exact spot on his foot where the soccer ball rolled into him, the melody he had been playing on his guitar, the way Axel jogged over to him and smiled at him...

Demyx could feel his heart pounding at the thought of Axel that day.

He remembered that day had been the day Demyx began questioning if he really did like girls. He had been staring at a girl that was watching the soccer team practice and trying to force himself to be attracted to her. Then he'd look over at Axel, who was just happening to pull off his sweat-soaked white t-shirt, and shudder at just how hot he was. Just thinking that made him shudder. Watching Axel run and kick the ball and gulp down his water made Demyx realize: girls were just plain icky.

The next few weeks had been an emotional roller coaster. He kept running into Axel and was instantly smitten every time by his impossibly deep green eyes. Axel would smile and leave him blushing furiously like a school girl with knees weak enough to make him collapse right there in the hallway. Demyx would then study a girl in his next period, then another girl, and a third girl, and try to find something, anything about them that was more appealing to him than Axel.

He came up short every time.

And then came the day Axel asked him out on that first date. Demyx was so shocked and, well, happy he couldn't even speak. He had opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Like he always did, Axel smiled and laughed, ruffling Demyx's hair playfully. He had taken that as a yes and wrote his number on the back of Demyx's hand in green pen, a shade Demyx thought matched his eyes perfectly. That same night, Demyx's hands shook nervously as he slowed typed the number into his phone and pressed talk. When Axel answered, Demyx nearly died of excitement.

They had talked for hours. Demyx had called him a little after eleven PM, and didn't hang up until almost two AM. They shared all kinds of information about each other, from their favorite colors to their most embarrassing moment in sixth grade. The entire time, Demyx had a smile on his face. He listened intently to the sound of Axel's voice, committing it to memory and replaying it in his head as he struggled to sleep that night. The ride to school that morning had been a haze, fogged up with piercing green eyes and flaming red hair. Luxord had been talking about something, but Demyx couldn't remember for the life of him what that was.

The rest of the week had passed in a blur. Before Demyx realized what was happening, it was Saturday night and Axel was at his doorstep with a killer smile and appearance to match. He had instantly charmed overprotective and overbearing Luxord, much to Demyx's surprise. The entire night had been absolute heaven, from sitting down at dinner across one another to the last few minutes of the movie with Axel's arm snugly wrapped around Demyx's shoulder. What made Demyx want to faint, however, was the soft, light kiss Axel had placed on his cheek just before dropping him off.

Demyx couldn't remember being happier.

Things exponentially got even better. After two more dates, an adorably shy and nervous Axel asked Demyx to be his boyfriend, and, needless to say, the blonde accepted. It was barely a month after that they shared their first kiss (during which Demyx nearly melted into a puddle) in Axel's car in front of Luxord's house. As Demyx kissed Axel and gave in to his unbelievably soft lips, he completely forgot what it had been like to be interested in girls. The girl he had been dared to kiss back in the fourth grade paled next to kissing Axel.

About two months later, their relationship picked up speed dramatically. Axel had taken Demyx out for a drive and they wound up in an Ansem-Mart parking lot around midnight. Sitting there, with no other cars or people around, both confessed they had fallen in love with each other before tackling one another into the back seat, lips locked in a heated kiss. Axel almost had Demyx's shirt off when they heard the Ansem-Mart security cars pull up and skid to a stop right outside. In a fit of laughter, both scrambled into the front seat and sped off, laughing all the while.

Barely a week went by before Demyx showed up at Axel's door and attacked his boyfriend's lips in a wild kiss. They nearly had sex on Axel's kitchen table (the redhead had been in the process of getting Demyx's pants off) when Luxord came knocking (or banging, rather) on Axel's door and demanded to know were Demyx was. He wasn't quite sure how he managed to explain that situation to his brother, but Demyx had been certain Luxord was ready to murder him for it.

And then, two months later, Luxord had been invited to some study-thing-or-another in Hollow Bastion for two weeks. Demyx had assured his older brother he'd be okay by himself for two measly weeks through much convincing and commentary by Axel and Zexion. Once they dropped Luxord off at the train station, they turned right around and Demyx packed enough clothes and this, that, and the other for two weeks. He threw it all in Axel's trunk, and the two drove to Axel's house, where Demyx temporarily moved in and became Axel's roommate. Quite literally, actually.

Every night, both of them squeezed into Axel's teeny twin bed and slept right up next to each other. The days that flew by were filled with laughter and smiles and happiness neither knew they could experience. Demyx tried to think back to a time he had been so happy, but couldn't come up with anything.

It had been a Friday night, the last night the two would be spending together before Demyx went to live back with Luxord. They had gone to dinner and a movie, much like they had done on their first date, and arrived back at Axel's house shortly before midnight. As tired as both were from the long day at school and hard sports practices, neither could sleep. Cuddled together in Axel's bed, Demyx could feel Axel's warm breath going down his neck and driving him insane as he stared into endless green. The way Axel had been looking at Demyx that night had said everything.

They were soon lost in hungry, passionate kisses and wild gasps and shudders as their bodies tangled together. Demyx lost himself in Axel's lips and hands as they peeled away each other's clothing in a torrent of lust and desire. When Axel pounded in and out of him, Demyx gasped and moaned and felt completely alive in a way he had never felt before. As he drifted into sleep in the safety of his lover's arms, the blonde knew he could never go back to living without him.

It took months of convincing and arguing and pleading and begging, four to be exact, but finally Luxord gave in. And an overly-excited Demyx officially moved in with an equally estatic Axel.

...but, like with all fairy-tales, theirs came to an end.

Long after they celebrated their anniversary, Demyx had to attend his uncle's birthday party way the heck out in Traverse Town. That very night, there was a huge back-to-school party the blonde had convinced Axel to attend. He doesn't know what happened or why, but that night changed everything. Suddenly, Axel wasn't the happy, optimistic redhead Demyx knew anymore. He was always sad, and instead of perking up whenever he saw Demyx, he looked crushed and depressed. But Demyx never asked about it, thinking it was a phase Axel was going through.

It certainly hadn't been just a phase. Six months later, a heart-broken Demyx still can't figure out what happened.

* * *

_"Demyx..." Axel began, unable to look the blonde in the eye. He started picking at the leather on the steering wheel, searching for the right words to say. "I...I need to tell you something."_

_In the passenger seat next to him, Demyx cocked his head to one side and continued to stare at Axel. "What is it?"_

_The redhead's fingernails dug into the leather nervously. In his head, he debated over going right out and saying it, or slowly leading up to it. The pounding of his heart made it hard to think. Demyx's soft, even breathing next to him made the answer obvious, but the nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach said otherwise. His mind raced with questions: Was three and a half months too early? Or was it too late? Should he wait longer? Shaking his head, he silenced all of the pending questions. He looked up at Demyx, his body moving of its own accord, and whispered with a soft smile, "I...I think I'm in love you."_

_A barely audible gasp escaped Demyx's throat. His eyes lit up and the corners of his mouth spread apart in a small, surprised smile. In his chest, his heart fluttered with excitement. He overcame the shock and whispered, "...r-really?"_

_Axel's smile widened. His voice still velvety soft, he replied, "...yeah."_

_Still smiling, Demyx leaned forward and kissed Axel's lips softly at first, but then firmly. He slid an arm around his boyfriend's neck and felt the older boy's hands tangling in his hair. The blonde pulled away briefly, long enough to whisper, "I think I love you, too."_

_His green eyes lit up, his cheeks touching the corners of his eyes, and Axel kissed Demyx fiercely. They both allowed themselves to get lost in the other's lips and hands and hushed gasps as their kisses deepened and grew rougher. Unable to control his need for Axel, Demyx grabbed the redhead by the collar of his shirt and pulled him forward, then thrust him towards the backseat. Their lips never parted as the smaller teen tackled the larger into the leather of the backseat and as they awkwardly arranged themselves into a half laying down, half sitting-up position with Demyx sprawled out on top._

_Axel pulled away with a strangled gasp, out of breath as he gazed into Demyx's impossibly beautiful blue eyes. He ran his fingers through the swimmer's blonde hair lovingly and laid a soft kiss on his bottom lip._

_"I'm **definitely** in love with you."_

_**"Oh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
'I promise not to miss you now'  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie"**_

* * *

..»A/N: Lyrics from "I Just Can't Live A Lie" by Carrie Underwood (Some Hearts)

..»I hate the new styling rules for . They should die. "No longer support hyphen spacing". Thank you very much .

..»Anyhoo, reviews are wonderful :D If you've favorited this story or put it on alert, be a dear and drop a line. Please and thank you :)


	5. Reminders of the Heartbreak

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 5: Reminders of the Heartbreak  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to Demyx, because he's been through so much...

* * *

_**"In a line in a book in the closet**  
_**_In a line in a song I once heard  
In a moment on a front porch late one June  
_****_In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon  
_****_There it was at the tip of my fingers  
_****_There it was at the tip of my tounge  
_****_There you were and I had never been that far  
_**_**There was the whole world wrapped inside my arms  
****And I let it all slip away"**_

_"Axel...hey, Axel, wake up, babe."_

_The redhead suddenly lifted his head off of his AP Chemistry textbook. He glanced around, confused, absorbing his surroundings. A soft, angelic voice whispered his name and laughed softly. Sleepily, he followed the sound of the voice and saw Demyx smiling at him. He smiled back and yawned, replying tiredly, "Sorry...electrons and protons are just so boring..."_

_Demyx smiled and shook his head. "It's okay. They are very boring."_

_Axel stretched his arms and back, a few satisfying pops and cracks filling the air, and laid his head back down on his book, eyes closed. Beside him, his boyfriend sighed happily and brushed some hair from his eyes. "Hey, sleep when we get home. A textbook can't be very comfortable._

_Axel opened his eyes and looked at Demyx, smiling. "You'd be surprised."_

_The blonde couldn't help but smile back, gazing into the endless green of Axel's impossibly wide eyes. He couldn't help the hand that reached out and brushed against the pyro's cheek gently and lovingly. In a blindingly fast movement, Axel captured Demyx's hand in his own and kissed his fingers softly. A small blush crept over Demyx's cheeks, his lips parting in a small grin._

_"Your voice is really soothing," Axel murmured, his eyes closed. "I could listen to you sing forever."_

_"A-Axel," Demyx stammered, embarrassed. The redhead in question opened his eyes and laughed quietly. "Okay, I'm sorry. It's just hard when I'm so in love with you."_

* * *

Axel woke up Saturday morning feeling like he could throw up.

The concept of going on a date with Larxene always made him want to crawl in a hole and rot. It was always the same: they always went to some fancy restuarant with over-priced food, Larxene always managed to order the most expensive thing on the menu, she _never_ helped him pay the bill, and prattled on about absolutely _nothing_. This time, however, Axel just wanted to _die_.

They weren't going to just any over-priced restuarant. They were going to the ultra-chic _Radiant Garden_, where Demyx worked throughout the week. Radiant Garden was the best place for young, striving musicians to go sample their music and see how they're received. On rare occasions, record producers would show up and offer deals to performers. Demyx had been offered one, but had to decline because, at the time, he was only fifteen, and scared out of his _mind_. But, the producer had given Demyx his card, and in the event Demyx did decide to take him up on his offer, he could call anytime.

When Demyx finally thought he was ready, Axel broke his heart a week later.

And although Riku had assured him Demyx was _not_ going to be working that night, Axel couldn't help the nervous feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong. In some ways, he hoped this would be an absolute disaster and Larxene would dump him tonight. Pretending was becoming too much to bear, especially with Demyx looking even sadder and sadder everyday. And then there was the day he ran out of the cafeteria in tears...

Axel shook his head. He had fought to make it this far without him, and he wasn't about to give up now. Not when he _knew_ Demyx would be able to move on...eventually...

* * *

As Demyx combed out his hair with his fingers, he suddenly got a terrible feeling. He wasn't sure what had caused it, but out of nowhere, he felt something would go horribly wrong. What if he couldn't sing tonight? Or his guitar was dreadfully out of tune, and he couldn't figure out how to fix it, even if it was extremely unlikely? What if people didn't like him and made fun of him? Or worse...

...what if Larxene showed up with _Axel_?

Demyx gripped onto his bathroom counter to steady himself. The thought of Axel actually coming, and with _Larxene_, nearly induced a panic attack. Axel hadn't been there in so long. The last time Demyx could remember him being there was two weeks after school had begun, over six months ago. Even as the memory made his heart ache, Demyx felt a small smile creeping across his face. That particular night, Axel had fallen asleep on his AP Chemistry homework and looked aboslutely _adorable_--

The blonde blinked. Since when did he think something _good_ about Axel...?

* * *

As expected, Radiant Garden was packed.

Axel was actually pretty surprised they had found a table once they had ordered their food. He heard people chattering amongst themselves about the night's performer, but didn't really pay it much interest and ignored it.

It was about fifteen minutes later when their food was delievered to them and they started eating. As usual, Larxene ordered the most expensive thing that could be found on the menu and hadn't offered to help pay for any of it. The redhead cringed at the thought of what the bill would look like when the waiters running across the restuarant brought it to him.

Axel froze in mid-bite when he heard a familiar voice fill his ears. His ears went deaf to Larxene's mindless chatter, along with the soft mumur of the other customers in the restuarant. Out of habit, he zeroed in on the voice and where it was coming from. He took his green eyes off of the plate in front of him, and turned them towards the sound of the voice.

His heart stopped.

Demyx sat on the small stage at the center of the back wall of the restuarant, perched atop a black stool positioned in front of a mircophone. In his arms was a blue guitar, one that matched the shade of his eyes almost exactly. Clad in all black, Demyx looked like he belonged in a fashion magazine instead of some local restuarant providing live entertainment.

Riku that _asshole_. Axel clenched his hand in a fist, cursing his second best friend into oblivion. Not only had the bastard lied to him, but he set him up, too. This was an obvious attempt at making Axel talk to Demyx and explain everything, something that was _not _in the redhead's best interest. Especially when Larxene was with him, the girl he was _supposed_ to be interested in. Even if she was just a replacement.

How on _Earth_ did they expect him to talk to Demyx when Larxene was there? Did they _want_ him to die?

The blonde took a deep breath, before leaning towards the microphone and singing in the softest, most angelic voice Axel had ever heard.

"_Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?  
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart now?  
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?  
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?_

_Maybe I should've seen the signs, should've read the writing on the wall  
And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall  
No matter what you say, I still can't believe  
That you would walk away  
It don't make sense to me, but..._

_Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?  
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?  
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?  
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?_

_It's not unbroken anymore  
How do I get it back the way it was before?_

_Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?  
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart,now?  
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?  
Why would you wanna break, would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"_

Axel felt a freshly sharpened knife plunge into his heart, twist around a few times, then yank itself out and leave him there to bleed. For the first time in a very long time, his heart ached terribly and he wanted to die. Every fiber of his being _hurt_ with unbearable pain.

This pain he had felt before. He knew this feeling. He had tried so many times to bury it away where it would never find him, or where he would never find it. Each time he had failed. He thought had been doing the right thing six months ago, that it would make it hurt less in the end, that Demyx would forgive him and move on.

Never before had he been so wrong.

He should have known Demyx would never respond the way he expected him to. His spontaneity is what drew Axel to him in the first place. He had been so utterly blind. Not only then, but for the past six months as well. He had been blind to how hurt Demyx had been that night, how hurt he _still_ was, blind to Demyx's constant and unconditional love for him. Love he didn't deserve.

_"Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?  
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?  
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?  
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?"_

Axel couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. Larxene's voice in his ears was an unknown noise. All he could do was _stare_, stare at the one thing that had ever made him truly happy, and long for forgiveness. It took everything he had to keep him seated across from Larxene and resist running over to Demyx, falling to his knees and begging for forgiveness right there in front of the entire restaurant. Had he been alone, such an event would have occured...maybe. Even if Larxene wasn't in the picture, Axel wasn't sure if he could tell Demyx everything and make it make sense. In his current state of pain and anguish, everything swirling around in his head would have come out as complete gibberish.

_"...s-so that's it then? We're finished?"_

_Axel closed his eyes tightly, grateful he wasn't facing Demyx and the blonde couldn't see the tears rolling down his cheeks._

_"...yeah."_

He quickly looked down at his plate of half-eaten food and closed his eyes tightly, just as he did back then. Larxene excused herself and disappeared into the chaos to find the bathroom. Axel gripped to fork he held in his hand tightly. His knuckles turned white, and his entire body shook. A single tear leaked from his clenched eyes.

_'I'm sorry.'

* * *

_"We'll take the check, please."

For Larxene's benefit (and partly because he just needed an excuse to stare at Demyx), Axel endured nearly an hour of Demyx's wonderful voice filling the air and watching his beautiful form play from across the restuarant. In that time, he and his "girlfriend" had discussed everything from the food on their plates to Axel's rise to fame on varsity soccer. He had given her simple answers, not really giving much to the conversation as he stared starstruck at the best thing to ever happen to him.

It was getting close to closing, and little by little Radiant Garden had begun to empty. Axel knew this meant Demyx's shift was almost over, and he would be collecting the night's tips once everyone had left.

Which meant Axel could walk right up to him and no one could say a thing about it.

The waiter promptly brought the check, and, with a shaky hand, Axel pulled out fifty dollars. For some unfathomable reason, Larxene had decided to order the most expensive item on the menu and take up two thirds of the bill. She simply flashed a smile at him from across the table, one he returned with faux affection. He returned the small black book with his cash inside to the waiter, who ran off to the register with it and brought it back. With change in cash.

"Go ahead, I'll meet you outside," Axel said with a smile. Larxene smiled back and nodded, heading out of the restuarant without him. Once she was out of sight, he looked back at the blonde on the stage and sighed heavily.

_' Well, here it goes._'

His feet were heavy as he slowly walked towards him. He was surprised to see Demyx didn't even notice him (either that or he was ignoring him) and just kept playing and singing. The open guitar case caught Axel's eye, and, with his eye on Demyx, kept walking towards him. His hands shaking, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a five dollar bill.

Demyx suddenly noticed a hauntingly familiar head of unruly red hair coming towards him. As he continued to play and sing, he looked in the direction of the blindingly bright red, and felt his heart stop. The person looked up, and gazed at him with impossibly gorgeous green eyes.

And then, for that one split second they held each other's gazes, everything was perfect.

No one else in the room existed. Larxene hadn't turned around and wasn't storming over to see what Axel was up to. Demyx's bandmates weren't looking at him strangely and wondering why he had stopped singing so suddenly. All Axel could register was _Demyx_, and his wide beautiful eyes. Their pounding hearts slowed and both were calm. But only for a second.

Axel immediately turned around and walked in the opposite direction. Demyx let out a barely audible gasp, his eyes still glued to the receding redhead's figure. He quickly jumped back into the ending notes of the song just as the last ten or so resounded from his guitar.

He considered getting up and stopping him. He had wanted to, just to gaze into his eyes like that for only a _moment_, but his legs just wouldn't move. They stayed bent like that, and he remained sitting on his stool. His eyes were unable to look away from the bright red hair that walked farther and farther away, with a blonde demon on his arm laughing the most evil chuckle as if to say "I won".

Tears stung the back of his eyes. His heart suddenly hurt in the most painful way and he couldn't breathe.

Watching Axel walk away had been just like all those months ago. He could feel his heart breaking all over again, even though he had watched Axel without him leave so many times.

The last party in the restuarant left, and Demyx's shift was officially over. Without a word to anyone, he stood up and walked off as he slung his guitar off his shoulder. The second he clocked out, his phone was in his hand and he was calling Zexion.

**_"There's a rain that'll never stop falling  
There's a wall that I've tried to take down  
What I should've said just wouldn't pass my lips  
So I held back and now we've come to this  
And it's too late now"_**

Once he had dropped off Larxene, and made an empty promise to call her, Axel immediately called Roxas and met him along with Naminé at the Starbucks a block away from Radiant Garden. Oddly enough, when he walked in, Sora and Riku were also seated at the small round table with the blonde couple.

The second he saw Riku, Axel's glare was set perfectly in place. He stormed over, ignoring his friends' hellos and instead standing over the silver-haired junior, fuming. Riku smiled up at him and waved, asking somewhat cynically, "So. How was Demyx?"

"You set me up, you _bastard_," Axel spat angrily. "What the hell were you expecting me to do?! Go over to him and sort the whole thing out as we cried in each other's arms with Larxene _right there_?!"

"Eh. Something like that," Riku replied calmly, sipping from his coffee.

"Riku, you made him go to Radiant Garden while Demyx was _working_?" Roxas asked incredulously, his blue eyes wide with surprise. "Why hadn't _I _thought of that?!"

"What the hell is your problem, Roxas?!" Axel nearly shouted, his glare now directed at his best friend. Roxas glared back at him and growled, "Stop accusing all of us and just sit down. You said you needed to talk."

Axel opened his mouth to protest, but realized Roxas was right. He had told him that desperately needed Roxas's help, and maybe even Zexion's. But with Zexion going though his not-talking-to-Axel phase, it was completely out of the question. That, and he was probably consoling Demyx right about now.

Silently, Axel pulled over a chair and sat down next to Naminé. She smiled at him and held out her half-full cup of coffee. "Here. I think you could use some."

A rare smile made its way across Axel's face. He took the cup she offered, whispering his thanks quietly, and sipped it silently before handing it back to her.

"So, Axel," Sora said, looking over at the redhead. "What is it?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his flaming red hair, frustrated. There were so many things he needed to say and get out of his already broken mind. Most of them could only be said to Demyx, but that was definitely not going to happen. Ever.

"...well," he started, clearing his throat. "Demyx was there obviously...and I was there with Larxene..." Before he knew what he was saying, the words just flowed out of his mouth in a rushing river. "And, well, he saw us _together_. He looked so _sad_...I had never seen him like that. I mean, I've seen him sad before, but he just looked _devastated_. And then there was the song he sang _about me,_ and I wish I could have just told him I still love him and...that I'm sorry...and..."

His voice trailed off and his vision blurred with tears. Before they had the chance to roll down his cheeks, he hurriedly wiped them away.

All around him, it was silent. No one, not even Riku, dared to say a word.

They all just looked on, listening to Axel earnestly. It was the first time he had talked about Demyx and how he still loved him so _openly_. Roxas hadn't even been able to get Axel's true feelings out of him so quickly and easily. Maybe it was because the stubborn redhead had finally seen first-hand what all of them had tried so hard to explain.

If that was the case, then why hadn't Axel found a way to tell Demyx...?

"Then just tell him," Riku said softly, breaking the silence. Next to him, Sora nodded and added, "You can do it, Axel. He needs to hear it from you, and soon."

Their friend shook his head. "I...I can't. If I could, I would have told him months ago."

"You need to," Naminé interjected. "Demyx needs to know. This has gone on too long, Axel."

"Definitely," Sora agreed. "You guys were so _happy_. I've never seen two people who were so in love before in my life."

Axel opened his mouth to protest, until he realized the brunette was right. He and Demyx _had_ been in love. That much was obvious. From their silent glances and smiles at lunch to their passionate kisses hidden around the corner just out of sight, a beautiful love was unbelievably apparent. It was the most amazing thing Axel could remember feeling in his life. But now that he had thrown it away, he had accepted the fact he could _never_ get it back, no matter what. Demyx was gone, and a second chance was not possible.

"_Axel_?!"

The small group of five looked over at froze. Axel felt his heart stop, and his eyes explode to the size of saucers. A mischievious light sparkled briefly in Riku's eyes. Sora and Naminé both gasped slightly, barely loud enough for anyone else to hear. Roxas made no noise as he stared in disbelief.

Standing in the doorway, in all of his shock and surprise, was Demyx with Zexion by his side.

The blonde's eyebrows narrowed and he glared at the junior in question. Before he could think of anything to say, he whirled back around and stormed out. Axel obeyed his impulses for once and jumped from his seat, pushing past a very confused Zexion and running down the crowded sidewalk after Demyx.

"Demyx! Demyx, wait!" Axel grabbed the blonde's arm and turned him around, greeted by a glare and tears running down the blonde's face. He felt his chest tighten around his heart at the sight of Demyx crying, and suddenly, more than ever, wanted to hold him and make everything disappear.

"I've _been_ waiting, Axel!" Demyx cried, yanking his arm away from the redhead. "But all you do is shower _Larxene_ with all of your attention! It's like none of us even exist anymore! Even Roxas feels like he's playing second! And you know what Axel? She doesn't even _care_ about you! You're just another object to her! But I guess that's how you all operate. People are just _things_ you can own!"

"Demyx, just let me explain--"

"There's nothing _to_ explain, Axel! Just...just get the fuck out of my life, okay?! You've already screwed it up enough!"

Axel stepped back as if he had been slapped. He watched, shellshocked, as Demyx turned around and stalked off angrily. Despite all of the people, he easily weaved between them all and disappeared almost instantly. Axel sank to his knees, unable to believe what Demyx had just said to him. It took him ten seconds to realize Zexion was standing over him and screaming at him.

"What the hell are you _doing_, Axel?!" the violet-haired junior shouted, shaking from his anger. "Go after him!"

"You heard him, didn't you?!" Axel shouted back, glaring. "He told me to leave him the fuck alone! So I will!"

Zexion groaned and nearly yanked his hair out. "He doesn't mean it! Go after him! That's what he wants!"

"It certainly didn't seem like it! He _hates_ me, okay?! Completely fucking hates me!"

"Oh, bullshit, Axel!" Zexion thundered. "You _know_ that's frickin' crap! He _loves_ you, okay?! He _wants _you to go after him and keep chasing him until he has no where left to go! But you're too damn stubborn to even try!"

"Because it won't work!"

Zexion let out a frustrated groan that bordered a scream. Completely depleted of his patience, he went over to Axel and yanked him to his feet, earning curses and protests from him. He glared at Axel venomously and hissed angrily, "Go fucking after him, or I _swear_ I will make you regret it."

That was exactly what Axel wanted. He _wanted_ to go after Demyx and keep running after him until the blonde simply had to take him back. Out of energy to keep fighting with Zexion, Axel turned on his heel and took off in the direction Demyx had headed in.  


* * *

_Axel burried his face further in Demyx's soft blonde hair and nearly purred out of contentment. He sighed, happily, placing light kisses on his head as he whispered his lover's name over and over again. Demyx smiled, and clung to Axel tighter. He couldn't remember being any happier than he was right now, safely secured in Axel's arms with the redhead in his, and being gently smothered in kisses. He knew it was an idiotic thing to ask, but he just had to make sure._

_"Axel?" Demyx whispered, closing his eyes when the kisses trailed down to his ear. "...do...do you love me?"_

_Suddenly, Axel pulled away and stared at him, dumbfounded. "Demyx. What kind of stupid question is that?"_

_The smaller teen blushed softly and smiled, shrugging. "I dunno. I just wanted to make sure."_

_At that very second, Axel's green eyes shimmered with excitement and mischief. He smiled wickedly, leaned forward, and whispered hot in Demyx's ear, "You know...I could_ show_ you how much I love you...it's been a while..."_

_As he spoke, his hands slid down Demyx's half-naked body and earned shudders from the blonde in his arms. His voice shaky, Demyx added, "It isn't a school night..."_

_He could almost hear the smile spreading across Axel's face. "Exactly."_

_Without any further coaxing, Demyx kissed Axel fiercely and quickly drowned in his kisses and fiery touch._

**_"What do I do now that you're gone?  
_****_No back up plan, no second chance  
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear in the silence that remains  
Are the words I couldn't say  
_**_**Are the words I couldn't say  
I should have found a way to tell you how I felt  
Now the only one I'm telling is myself"**  


* * *

_..»A/N: Demyx's song: "A Perfectly Good Heart" by Taylor Swift; other lyrics: "Words I Couldn't Say" by Rascal Flatts (Me And My Gang).

..»I PROMISE I will try to update sooner! The next chapter is mostly written already, and it should be about a week or two before I post it.

..»I'm not sure if I like the lyrics I picked for Demmy's song. Maybe. I like the song though!


	6. Light At the End of the Tunnel

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 6: Light at the End of the Tunnel  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication: **To...Axel! Because he really needs to get his act together.

* * *

**_"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and I just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though moving on with you gone still upsets me  
There are says every now and again  
I pretend I'm okay  
But that's not what gets me"_**

_"Demyx, baby, are you sure?"_

_The blonde smile and rolled his eyes on the other side of the phone. "For the thousandth time, Axel, of course I'm sure. Just go out and have a good time. Have enough fun for both of us!"_

_Axel bit his bottom lip nervously. He hadn't been to any kind of social gathering without Demyx at his side in over a year, before they started going out. Deep in the bit of his stomach, he had a strong feeling something terrible was going to happen, something he couldn't place, but felt would happen nonetheless. He had been on the phone with Demyx for nearly an hour, switching back and forth between going and not going._

_He thought he had settled on not going, since Demyx had to go to his uncle or aunt or some family member's birthday and couldn't attend. It was Sephiroth's huge annual back-to-school party, the party at which Zexion had forced Axel to go ask Demyx to dance less than a week after the redhead had even met him. Axel smiled softly, wishing desperately Demyx could come with him and the two could dance together much like they had a year ago._

_"...and you're really sure?"_

_"Axel, babe," Demyx repeated, trying his best to remain calm. "I am one hundred and two percent sure. And if you do not go to that party, I swear to you, I will cut you off for an entire month."_

_"A whole month?!" Axel cried, his eyes exploding._

_"Yes," Demyx replied, a smile tugging at his lips. "Now get going or you'll be way too late to be considered fashionably late."_  


* * *

After following Demyx through the thongs of people and nearly losing track of him twice, Axel finally traced him to the night club Zexion had told him about. The blonde's best friend had said that if there was anywhere Demyx would go to forget about Axel, it would be the one place that didn't remind him of the redhead: somewhere they had never been together.

Somehow, Demyx had charmed the enormous security guard at the door and slipped in even though he was technically underage. Axel knew his luck wouldn't be quite the same, since he wasn't the combination of cute and hot that Demyx was. So instead, he circled around to the back of the building and miraculously discovered an open door where no one was watching. He silently slipped inside (though it wouldn't have made a difference if he had, the music was so loud) and followed various turns and corners until he reached the main dance floor.

It was almost completely black, save for the blinding strobe lights and various colored lights illuminating the huge crowd of people dancing in the center of the enormous room. The floor seemed to vibrate beneath Axel's feet to the beat of the pounding music flowing through the air non-stop. In the current environment, everyone looked the same, and pinpointing Demyx was nearly impossible.

Axel looked around. He spotted a balcony where people were dancing, talking, drinking, and just generally hanging out. He slowly pushed his way through all of the people, slipping between sweaty bodies as they rubbed against each other. By the time he reached the stairs, Axel felt as if he had been violated by fifty different people.

From the balcony, everything was clearer. He could acurately distinguish the bar on the east wall and the DJ on the west. In the middle, naturally, was the enormous dance floor, carpetted by drunkards and dancers. As he searched, however, he couldn't find Demyx amidst the crowd. He was just about to give up when someone jumped onto the bar and started dancing, a huge crowd gathering around him.

Horror and dread filled Axel's heart.

There was Demyx, in all of his beauty and perfection, displaying himself for everyone. And try as he might, Axel couldn't make himself move to put a stop to it.

His body rolling in perfect sync with the music, Demyx looked surreal and dream-like. He was undeniably gorgeous as he moved, his hips swishing this way and that as the beat changed and sped up. All around him, women (and men) of all ages had gathered to watch, some offering drinks, others money, as they swooned and whistled. Axel remained frozen as he watched Demyx collapse into an older man's arms and kiss him uncontrollably, occasionally taking sips from a red plastic cup.

Finally, Axel exploded into a torrent of running and tripping as he barreled towards Demyx.

This crowd proved to be much more difficult than the others. They were packed together tighter and, because their attention was completely occupied by Demyx and his new "partner", their inertia was much higher. Several people cursed at him as he shoved his way through, pushing people this way and that to get to the blonde everyone was going wild for.

He felt the air being sucked out of him when Demyx fell against him in his drunken state. He laughed carelessly, apologizing to Axel without really registering who he was. Just as Demyx stumbled to his feet, Axel grabbed his arm and turned him around, staring him right in the face.

"Demyx," Axel breathed. The blonde simply stared and him and blinked. Axel raise his voice to get above the music, "You're drunk. You need to get out of here."

The man that had "claimed" Demyx slung an arm around the blonde's shoulders and sneered at Axel, blowing his alcohol-stained breath into the redhead's face. "What, he belong to you?"

Axel menacingly glared at the drunken fourty-year-old, his green eyes blazing angrily. His lips curled back in a snarl as he hissed, "Do you have a _problem_ with that?"

"Get lost, punk," the man replied, pulling the smashed Demyx into a lazy hug. "Go find your own."

Axel snapped.

Rage surged through him uncontrollably. The hard glare he was sending at the man trying to steal the pyro's current love interest intensified. The anger that was consuming him burned in his eyes with flames that challenged the fires he had "accidentally" started in chemistry. His hands balled themselves into fists automatically, and without really thinking about it, Axel yanked the stranger off of the barstool and hurled his tightened fist directly at his nose. The man lost his balance and fell backwards, stunned, landing on the hard-wood floor with a loud "thud".

"You lay your dirty fucking hands on him _ever_ again, I'll chop your fucking dick off and force you to _eat_ it, you shithead!" Axel shouted, glaring at him still. Around him, everyone gasped and stopped moving, staring in shock and awe. Demyx, in particular, was completely stunned.

Without giving him a second thought, Axel turned around and collected a very drunk and confused Demyx in his arms. The blonde resisted, cursing at him and screaming at him to let him go thinking the pyro was someone else. The second he smelled Axel's cologne and body wash, he knew it was him. Even in with his lack of sobriety, Demyx knew it was Axel, and that he was safe and protected. Demyx fell silent, and wrapped his arms tightly around Axel's neck, burrying his face in the warm skin he found there. Axel smiled softly to himself, putting one arm around Demyx's waist with the other supporting his knees, and whispered softly, "Let's get you out of here."

He refused to make eyes contact with anyone as he carried Demyx out of the deafeningly loud and unbearably hot club. Being surrounded by Axel's warmth suddenly made Demyx long for sleep. He realized how tired he was, how exhausted his body was from crying and dancing and drinking and every other method he had tried to get Axel out of his head. Needless to say, it hadn't worked, and here he was, allowing the same person that had broken his heart to carry him out of the environment he had been using to forget about him.

As Axel carried the half-asleep boy down the sidewalks, _everyone_'s head turned and looked at him strangely. He simply ignored them all, pushing his way past until he reached the parking meter in front of Starbucks. He had somehow managed to open the passenger seat door, and carefully arranging Demyx on the seat.

The last thing Demyx remembered was Axel's warm hands gently prying his fingers off of the collar of the redhead's jacket._**

* * *

**_Axel sped down the street as fast as he could without becoming a menace to the other (probably terrified) drivers around him. Thoughts swirled angrily in his head, yelling every demeaning insult in existence at him. He was half considering bashing his head in a few times when he arrived at his apartment, but figured that would only make the overwhelming guilt that was currently consuming him even worse. He released a deep sigh, and glanced over at the blonde next to him out of the corner of his eye.

Demyx was sleeping peacefully in Axel's passenger seat. His right arm was curled back as make-shift pillow supported by his leg, which he had propped up near him. His chest gently rose and fell as he softly inhaled and exhaled, his lips slightly parted and his eyes closed. Axel hadn't seen him so peaceful in a long, long time. Instantly, he was wracked with immense guilt and concentrated again on the road.

That worked for all of two seconds.

"Axel."

The redhead slammed on the brakes, skidding to a stop at a red light he was just about to run through. His head snapped over to slumbering boy next to him, expecting him to be awake and glaring at him intensely. He was quite surprised, however, to see Demyx was still sleeping.

The light turned green, and Axel sped down the street again.

Demyx had spoken so clearly, as if he had awoken; but he still slept. Was...the blonde dreaming about _him_? No, of course not. That was absolutely ridiculous. Axel shook his head at the thought, certain that the only dream of Demyx's he would appear in would be a nightmare. That, and Demyx wouldn't sound so..._happy_ if Axel was indeed in his dream.

He focused again on the road, unwilling to get in any type of accident with Demyx in the car. He tried distracting himself with something pointless and stupid. If he were Roxas, what type of sushi would he have tried? Axel was stumped, for he had no knowledge of sushi. Roxas had made him try it once, much to Axel's dislike, and he promptly followed the raw fish roll with a large bite of his hamburger from McXemmy's. He recalled Roxas having something _really_ weird, like octopus or--

"Axel...wait..."

Resisiting the urge to slam on the breaks again, the redhead glanced out of the corner of his eye at Demyx. He must have been dreaming. That was the only logical explanation for what was happening.

...then why did it all feel so _real_?

Demyx asleep in his car as he drove, his light snoring filling the quiet air, sleep-induced mumbles...it was all too familiar. Demyx always slept in Axel's car on the way back from a concert or something of the sort. And every time, Demyx had mumbled something in his sleep. It was usually something bizarre and strange, like the infamous "my battle-system needs fixing". But he _never_ mumbled names, let alone Axel's. There was however, one thing that was missing.

The car slowed to a stop at a red light, the longest red light on the street. Axel looked over at the sleeping teen next to him and sighed heavily. It was risky. If Demyx woke up, Axel was done for. But...that was a chance Axel was willing to take at this point.

Slowly, carefully, gently, Axel reached over and took Demyx's left hand into his.

His hand was just as warm as the pyro remembered. His skin was still feather-soft and smooth as silk. The corners of Axel's mouth turned upward, and he smiled softly. Feeling a bit daring, he laced their fingers together and gripped onto Demyx's hand tightly. He was extremely surprised to feel Demyx gripping his hand in return.

The light changed to green surprisingly fast, and Axel gently eased on the gas pedal.

**"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doing it  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder, getting up, getting dressed  
Living with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade, give away  
All the words that I save in my heart  
That I left unspoken"**

The car pulled into Axel's driveway and slowed to a halt in front of the garage door. The redhead pulled the key from the ignition and climbed out of his car, walking around the front to retrieve Demyx from the passenger seat. He opened the door and put a hand on Demyx's shoulder, shaking him lightly, and whispering, "Demyx...we're here..."

The blonde's eyes opened and he looked up at Axel confused at first, then comprehension flickered in his eyes. He got out of Axel's car and walked towards the house he once called home. Axel followed closely behind him, locking his car with his handheld remote on the way up the sidewalk to the front door. Once Axel had opened the door, Demyx went directly to the couch and laid down without a word.

Axel, however, went quickly into the bathroom and drew back the shower curtain. He figured getting Demyx to take a bath would be a million times easier than trying to get him to take a shower, and turned on the hot water and plugged the drain. While the bathtub filled, Axel ran off to his bedroom and tore through his closet and drawer, scrounging up the cleanest sleeping clothes he could find. (Zexion hadn't been over to force Axel into doing his laundry in about two weeks, and thus Axel's clothes weren't exactly clean nor did they smell like four roses.) Axel then returned to the bathroom and set the neatly folded clothes onto the bathroom counter. The bathtub filled up quickly, and he shut off the water.

He walked out of the bathroom and into the living room, where Demyx was curled up on the sofa asleep. Axel stopped and smiled, staring. He wanted desperately to let the blonde sleep, he looked so peaceful, but he knew he had to wake him up and get him clean.

"Demyx..." Axel whispered, shaking his shoulder gently. "Demyx..."

When he didn't move, Axel tried again, whispering his name a little louder and shaking him with more vigor. He stirred slightly, but still slept. Axel shook him a third time, hoping he'd awaken even a little.

The blonde remained unmoving.

Axel sighed. By the looks of it, Demyx wasn't about to move any time soon. The redhead knew he should have just let Demyx sleep judging by how quickly he was overcome by it when he picked him up. But who knew _what_ kinds of people were at that party, where they had been, and what they had done to Demyx...?

The thought of anyone but Axel himself doing something to Demyx made him shudder with rage.

But besides Axel's slight germophobia that came into play when it concerned Demyx and his cleanliness, the pyro knew that when the blonde awoke in the morning, he would be uncomfortable in his jeans and button-down shirt. Axel had witnessed a very upset Demyx many times in his life, and most of those occasions were a result of improper sleeping attire. Demyx had very strong feelings when it came to this sort of thing. For what point and purpose, however, was beyond Axel.

There was only one way to get Demyx to move. Axel would have to use the name he had sworn to himself he would never use again; for Demyx's sake, that is. At least, that's what he told himself.

"Hey," Axel whispered, gently shaking the blonde's shoulder again. "Demyx...baby, wake up."

Demyx's eyes fluttered open, drifting lazily up to Axel's. "Hm?"

"Baby, you need to get washed off and change," Axel whispered, running his fingers through Demyx's hair. It was an action Axel didn't want to resort to, but he knew very well that the combination of his favorite pet name for Demyx and stroking the smaller teen's blonde hair would get him to do anything for Axel. While it was a bit cruel to use such a weakness to his advantage, Axel was doing this for Demyx's benefit...at least, that's what he was telling himself.

Demyx nodded and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He paused a moment, looking around, absorbing his surroundings. Shakily, he stood up and took a few steps forward, quickly being overcome by sleepiness and nearly falling over. Axel quickly caught him in his arms and stood Demyx upright, smiling and shaking his head as he whispered, "Come on, you. Let's get you clean."

Demyx leaned against the redhead for support, sighing as he did so. Axel managed to lead the already-asleep Demyx into the bathroom, sitting him down on the closed lid of the toilet. Behind him, Axel silently shut the door and locked it, all of Demyx's eccentricies coming back to him. He confirmed his actions with Demyx, who was half-asleep as it was, and carefully, hesitantly, began undressing the blonde.

His fingers worked gently and expertly as they unbuttoned Demyx's shirt slowly, and as they slid the fabric from his slender form. Axel felt his heart pounding nervously in his chest as he coaxed each button loose and revealed more and more of Demyx's beautiful body. He paused and smiled, his eyes locked on Demyx's chest and wandering across his shoulders and down his sculpted arms. Seeing Demyx's partially naked form reminded him of the first time he had seen Demyx in such a state: the first night they had spent together.

_"Axel..."_

_Demyx released a throaty groan as the redhead licked and bit the delicate skin of his neck. He fisted red hair in his hands tightly, twisting the strands around each finger. Axel's fiery touch elicited unrestrained moans and whimpers from the writhing, naked blonde beneath him. He desperately wanted, no, needed, this boy, whether he was being screwed by him or screwing him himself, and each moan that escaped his lips intensified his need._

_"I want you, Demyx..." Axel growled hungrily against his skin between kisses. "All of you...right here, right now..."_

_"Take me..."_

Axel smiled fondly at the memory. The first of many times Axel had made love to Demyx during their year-and-a-half relationship.

And he had thrown it all away.

He sighed, and returned to stripping down the slumbering blonde before him. With caution he only reserved for Demyx, he slowly undid his belt and the button of his jeans, carefully unzipping his jeans. When Demyx didn't protest, Axel stood him up and slipped them off of his hips. Instead of realizing what was happening and immediately shove Axel away from him the way the pyro had expected him to, Demyx leaned against him and buried his face in his neck, inhaling deeply. Axel froze, every hair on his body standing on end at the sudden contact.

Demyx's voice was low, but extremely happy and relaxed, as he whispered, "...mmm...Axel..."

His arms wrapped themselves around the redhead's neck and he fell even deeper into sleep, thoroughly enjoying Axel's warmth. Axel let out a sigh of relief, relief in more than just one form, and moved on to removing Demyx's boxers. Slowly, cautiously, Axel slipped his fingers underneath the elastic waistband and shrugged them off of Demyx's hips.

_"Oh, God...Axel...oh--!"_

_Axel thrusted faster and harder into Demyx, his every gasp and moan sending Axel even farther over the edge. The pressure building down south was becoming to much to bear, and as their cries reached their climax, Axel did also, releasing his orgasm inside of the blonde. He collapsed on top of him, gasping for air and breathing hard. Below him, Demyx still gripped his red hair tightly in balled fists._

_Axel smiled, and kissed Demyx's chest lightly._

_"You were amazing."_

...the more he thought about it, the more Axel came to realize that, if he really wanted to, he could very well just take Demyx right here and now. He knew Demyx wouldn't object. He'd welcome it, simply because it Axel would be the one doing it. He'd allow it without so much as a protest. If he wanted to, all Axel had to do was strip himself down and…

Axel shook his head, willing the memory to leave his conscious thought.

He couldn't. Demyx was too fragile for such a thing, too precious. Especially now when he was falling asleep in Axel's arms and had entrusted the redhead with his life. Doing such a thing would be ten times the sin breaking up with him was.

As gently as possible, Axel took Demyx's hands and helped him into the full bath tub. He slid down into the warm water until he was fully seated in the tub, the water almost up to his chest. Almost immediately, his eyes drifted closed, and Axel knew he had fallen back asleep. He smiled softly and shook his head, ruffling Demyx's hair lovingly.

He picked up a red bottle of body wash and a bottle of two-in-on conditioner, kneeling down next to the tub. After splashing some water on Demyx's dry skin, Axel flipped open the body wash and squirted some in his hands. He rubbed them together and created a thick, foamy lather, then grabbed a mesh sponge and transferred it to the sponge.

Gently, he rubbed the sponge on Demyx's skin, melting away the sweat and possible dirt from the party. He massaged the delicate skin of the blonde's shoulders and neck, moving down and then back up his arms before smearing the lather over his gently sculpted chest.

Despite his exhaustion and need for sleep, Demyx felt his eyes fluttering open slightly at the feeling of the mesh sponge on his skin. He glanced around lazily, searching for the source of the gentle touch he felt.

Had he not been about to fall over out of tiredness, he would have been much more surprised to see Axel hovering nearby gently washing his skin. A small smile tugged at his lips, and his eyes drifted closed once more. He knew in the back of his mind that he should have been freaking out since he was naked in his ex-boyfriend's apartment and he was being touched all over, but...he wasn't. He knew this touch. This touch he trusted.

He heard Axel's gentle voice in his ears, and immediately went back to sleep when he whispered, "It's okay, Demyx...you're safe...I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise..."

Demyx nodded subconciously, returning once more to dreamland.

* * *

"Hey, Dem...baby, wake up."

The blonde's eyes snapped open. He glanced around, confused, then settled his eyes on Axel, who was gazing at him intently with those eyes of his. Axel smiled, and whispered softly, "Time for bed."

Demyx nodded wordlessly and stood up in the now empty bathtub. He remembered that he was naked and very wet in Axel's bathroom with the redhead himself standing over him and staring. Oddly enough, he wasn't alarmed in the least bit. Axel helped him out of the tub and onto the thick rug laid out over the white tile floor. The second his arms opened and a towel was spread out before him, Demyx leaned into Axel and closed his eyes. The older teen froze, then relaxed and wrapped the towel snuggly around Demyx's body.

Gently and carefully, Axel rubbed the smaller boy's wet skin and hair dry with the towel. With extreme caution, he slipped the slumbering Demyx into the pajamas he had scraped together for him. As Axel had expected, his black shirt swallowed Demyx's small frame and his pants hung loosely from his hips. But the blonde was really too tired to care.

After much coaxing, Demyx pulled away from Axel and followed him through the apartment he knew like the back of his hand to the bedroom they once shared. He wordlessly laid down on his side of the huge bed the two had purchased shortly after they began living together and was instantly asleep. Axel smiled and shook his head. He gathered the sheets from the base of the bed, where Axel's tossing and turning from the night before had landed them, and pulled them over Demyx followed by the soft duvet.

He was about to turn and walk out when he considered kissing Demyx goodnight, as he often did whenever he'd fall asleep the second his head hit his pillow. After a moment of careful consideration, he decided against it and turned to the door to leave.

"Wait!"

Axel felt his arm suddenly being seized and gripped onto tightly. He turned around, confused, even more so when he saw Demyx's face buried in the sleeve of the redhead's jacket. The blonde looked up at him, his blue eyes wide and afraid, rimmed the slightest bit with tears.

"Don't leave me..." Demyx whispered, his eyes never leaving Axel's. "Please...I'm scared...I don't want to be alone."

Axel blinked, confused. Surely Demyx thought he was speaking to someone else.

"Demyx, I'll be right outside--"

"Axel, _please_," Demyx pleaded, gripping onto him tighter. "Stay with me...please..."

This confused Axel even further. Just a few hours ago, Demyx had been screaming at him to get out of his life for breaking his heart and shattering every hope and dream he had. His eyes had been red and puffy from crying so much, his usually happy and smiling face glaring at him hard enough to kill. But now, here he was, begging Axel to stay with him. And...he was afraid? Of what? Had he been having a nightmare, or was he scared of someone coming after him?

Axel gazed into those beautiful blue eyes, the eyes that challenged the blue of ocean and the sky, and was instantly lost. He could feel cool, soothing water swirling around him and engulfing him in a whirlpool of an unusual calmness and tranquility. The water that rushed all around him cut off his air supply and suddenly he couldn't breathe. But it was a good kind of breathlessness. The kind he felt every time he stared into Demyx's eyes, the kind that made him want nothing more than to take the blonde into his arms and ravish him, making sweet love to him and listening to him moan against Axel's hands and mouth. This time, however, Axel just wanted to collapse onto the bed next to Demyx and kiss him, whispering how he still loved him and wanted to take back every second of the past six months.

Which, in fact, he did.

Resisting Demyx was impossible. Axel sighed, and whispered softly, "...all right."

He wrestled his arm away from Demyx and stripped down, changing into a pair of black sleeping pants. As the back of his mind screamed curses and morals at him, Axel slid into bed next to the blonde angel that had graced him with his presence. Demyx immediately cuddled into Axel's bare chest, wrapping an arm tightly around his waist. Axel gasped and found it difficult to breathe, his heart pounding in his chest. He stared at Demyx for a moment, contemplating his next move. He could pull Demyx into his arms and hold him close as the blonde slept, waiting for sleep to overcome him as well. Or, he could gently push Demyx away from him and eliminate the risk of anything actually happening between them.

Hesitantly, Axel carefully and gently wound his arms around he smaller boy sleeping beside him and pulled him in close. Demyx sighed happily and buried his face in Axel's warmth, gripping onto the redhead even tighter. He laid still then, his chest gently rising and falling as he inhaled and exhaled, sleeping peacefully in the warm cocoon of Axel's arms.

All the pyro could do was stare. He stared in disbelief at the boy in his arms, the same one that had told him to go die somewhere, clinging onto him tightly as he slept. As wrong as he knew this was, and as damn well he knew he should have ended this, Axel couldn't make himself move. He felt _whole_ and _complete_. Demyx's presence there with him, even if he was asleep, healed the hole in Axel's heart that had appeared after breaking the blonde's own. It washed away the last six months of regret and guilt and left only this moment, here and now, with Demyx safely secure in his arms.

...but the one thing that shocked Axel the most, more than the blonde actually being here, was how truly, completely, unconditionally, irrevocably in _love_ Axel was with Demyx.

He titled Demyx's head up towards him so he could gaze upon his perfect face. A smile spread across his mouth. He couldn't help the hand that reached up and brushed Demyx's bangs away from his shut eyes. Nor could he help the kisses that laid themselves on his eyelids, forehead, cheeks, nose, brow, jaw, neck...everything but his lips. Axel couldn't bring himself to kiss Demyx's lips as he slept, well aware of the fact that Demyx would put his lights out if he were awake and aware of what Axel was doing.

The one thing Axel couldn't stop no matter how hard he tried was his lips meeting the blonde's ear and whispering softly, "...I love you..."  


* * *

_He couldn't stop._

_The smell of alcohol was overbearing. Its effects had begun to take their toll, and he could barely register what he was even doing. In his current drunken state, however, it was impossible for him to care. He let his lips drown in those of his partner, whose name he could not recall for the life of him, even though they had met long before this. The other person's mouth tasted boldly of alcohol very much like Axel's._

_He felt a soft voice whispering to him in the back of his head, but it was easy to ignore. The voice grew quieter with each article of clothing they lost, the intensifying heat of the room, and his growing arousal down south. The pressure became too much to bear, his eventual climax ripping through him wildly._

_And as he gasped for air, slipping into unconscious slumber, he saw the face of a beautiful blonde boy shattering into tears._

_But he couldn't make sense of it._

**_"What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do"  
_

* * *

**..»A/N: Lyrics from "What Hurts the Most" by Rascal Flatts (Me and My Gang).

..»Ack! Axel's nearly gotten his act together. But Demyx STILL doesn't know! Fear not, Naminé and Riku are going to pound some sense into Axel soon. Things can only go downhill from here, right? Don't worry, though! I could never EVER write a sad ending to save my life. I think we're going to hit a total of ten chapters or so and then we'll be done :)

..»I think I definitely gave away the ending here. Damn. Oh well :(

..»Oh, and if you've favorited this story or put it on alert, a REVIEW OR TWO would be greatly appreciated. Now go ahead and press that pretty little button down there. You know you want to.


	7. The Morning After

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 7: The Morning After  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to 13th Shadow. Because this faithful reader is going through so much and desperately needs a happy ending. Thank you so much for your reviews!

..»A/N: No song lyrics or flashbacks this time around. I was too lazy to think of anything XD

* * *

The first thing Demyx noticed when he awoke the next morning was just how _warm_ he was. He sighed, contentedly, and went towards the source of warmth. He had expected to find his pillow, warm from sitting in the sunlight leaking in through his window. When he didn't meet something even resembling a pillow, his eyes fluttered open and he blinked a few times. Quickly, he registered where he was and what was happening.

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Whether it was from shock, anger, joy, or a combination of all three, Demyx would never know.

He blinked a few times more, absorbing it all.

Right there before his eyes laid Axel, in all of his beauty and glory, his eyes closed as he slept. And in his arms, he gently, protectively held Demyx in his iron grip.

Demyx didn't know what to do. He froze, contemplating possible reactions. Pushing Axel away wasn't in his best interest, especially when Axel was just so _warm_ and comfortable, but staying in his arms wasn't a good idea, either. He enjoyed every second he was in Axel's arms. But at the same time, he hated it. Being here reminded him of all the things he had lost when Axel broke up with him...all the things he could never have back. He didn't want to leave, for he was afraid of never getting to feel this _whole_ again. So he stayed, and settled on staring.

He took in every feature of his face, tracing it with his eyes by memory. There was one discretion, however, between the Axel laying in front of him and the Axel of his memories. This Axel looked exhausted, even as he slept, partly due to the circles that had formed under his eyes. Demyx tried to think of why Axel wasn't getting enough sleep, but couldn't think of anything besides self-induced insomnia. Axel used to stay up all night just because he could, and Demyx figured it was just another one of phases he was going through.

...but then again, Axel hadn't done that in a _long_ time.

He moved suddenly, releasing Demyx and rolling over onto his back. Demyx froze, his eyes wide as he watched Axel. When he was sure he wouldn't be moving again, the blonde extricated himself from Axel's arms and sat up in bed next to him. He glanced around the room only for his eyes to fall once more upon Axel. Then something sticking out underneath Axel's pillow caught his eye.

It really wasn't any of his business, but Demyx was always curious. Cautiously, he took the paper between his fingers and slowly slid it out. His eyes widened and he gasped audibly when he realized what it was.

Axel had a picture of _Demyx_ under his pillow.

He remembered this picture. This was the first picture Zexion had taken with his new camera. But what was _Axel_ doing with it...? Demyx's mind raced. He tried to ignore the most obvious answer to his question, the one that was staring him right in the face. Ignoring the fact that maybe, just _maybe_, Axel still cared for Demyx was unbearably hard. But wasn't he still with Larxene...?

No, that was impossible. Axel was just another one of _those_. Just another _heartbreaker_.

The events of the night before slowly came back to him. He remembered going to work and seeing Axel with Larxene, then storming out before he was done for the night and going to Sephiroth's legendary annual party. Upon his arrival, his memory became clouded. He vaguely remembered having one drink, then another, and another, and another until he could barely stand up straight. And then there was that guy he found...the one who had just settled a divorce from his wife...Demyx shuddered as he remembered what he let that _creep_ do to him.

And then another memory resurfaced. Axel's voice had filled his ears then, and Demyx suddenly wanted to be with him even after what he had seen earlier that night. What had happened after that? Demyx tried to think. He could sort of recall being in Axel's arms, and being carried out of the club...He could barely remember dumping his guitar in the backseat of Zexion's dad's car...but he could _clearly_ remember Axel bringing him back here, stripping him down, and...the rest of the night played itself out in his head.

Demyx had promised himself long ago that he would _never _get himself entangled with another heartbreaker. He told himself over and over that Axel was _not _the one for him because of what he had done to him, how hurt and broken he had left him. He was just another one of those assholes you run into in life, one that just does things by his own accord regardless of others around him. He was just another one of those.

Then why had he taken care of Demyx the night before? Why had he rescued him from that party, taken him home with him, and gave him a _bath_? If Axel was really such a terrible person, then his actions from the night before couldn't have _possibly_ been real. It had to be a dream, right? Axel was just that jerk that breaks hearts without any rhyme or reason. He was _that _person.

…but what if the person who had broken your heart was the one fixing it?

What if there was more to that person than just a heart-breaking, back-stabbing ex-boyfriend? What if he cared for the person he had broken? What if he was the one person who really understood him? What if he could confide in him? What if he was the one he went to when he was sad, angry, or just disappointed? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of him? What if the broken-hearted one knew he couldn't survive without him? What if he desperately _needed_ him?

What if he still loved him?

Demyx looked back over at Axel, still soundly asleep in his bed and tangled in his sheets. His bare chest slowly rose and fell with each breath that entered his lungs and then left. The blonde sighed, as he stared at the beauty he had been slumbering with somewhat unknowingly the night before. Deep within his heart, at that instant, he knew: he was _never_ going to be over Axel.

Axel would hold his heart forever.

As much as Demyx wanted to hate him, as much as he desperately wished he could _want_ to tear him to pieces, he couldn't. Hating Axel...it wasn't possible, even under the current circumstances. He wanted to hate Axel with all his heart, to never be able to forgive him for how broken he had left the blonde and how he didn't seem to care in the slightest bit. More than anything, he wanted to bolt from the room and never look back and live the rest of his life hating Axel. He wanted it, he felt that he _needed_ it, but...he just couldn't.

And despite all of this, Demyx couldn't bring himself to take his eyes off the redhead.

If there was one thing Demyx would _never_ be able to deny, no matter what was going on around him, it was how impossibly _beautiful_ Axel was. Even a thousand words could never do him justice. Simply laying there as he slept, his eyes closed and his chest gently rising and falling, he looked like a god. His flaming red hair, as unkempt as it was now, was one of the most striking things Demyx had ever seen.

Suddenly Demyx had a strong urge he couldn't resist. His body moved on its own without his consent. Even so...Demyx didn't try to stop himself.

His fingers softly brushed against Axel's warm cheek, then through his hair. Without really thinking about what he was doing, Demyx leaned forward and laid a light kiss on Axel's cheek.

* * *

Demyx wasn't quite sure _what _to think when he walked into Axel's kitchen.

He didn't know if it had been hit by a hurricane recently and most of the debris had been disposed of, or Axel had just gotten lazier than he already was. Weeks worth of dishes were piled up in the sink, something that _never _happened in the time Demyx had been living with here. It could have been worse, he supposed, but it was still _strange_. What was equally strange was the lack of clutter on the counters and the kitchen table. Axel always had some type of bills or cereal boxes or general clutter _somewhere_. Demyx briefly wondered if Larxene had made her mark on the kitchen, but then remembered that she was just as messy as Axel.

And then he saw it.

His guitar was sitting there in the corner by the front door, where Axel had carried him in the night before. A gasp escaped his lips, and his lips curved upward slightly. Guilt consumed him, then, and he suddenly regretted being angry with Axel moments ago. Not that Axel even knew. What Demyx did not realize, however, was Axel had gotten Demyx's guitar from Zexion before going to find the blonde in the raging club.

But this _was _Demyx, after all. He contemplated ways he could make up to Axel and thank him for what he had done for Demyx, unsure of what would be appropriate. He thought about things Axel liked. Axel loved eating. It was something small, and probably wouldn't mean much in the great scheme of things, but it would be something, right?

He was quite surprised to find everything was where he remembered. The organization system Zexion had implemented for them was still in use and working quite well. Glasses were still in the cabinet next to the sink, the bowls and plates still in the cabinet next to it, the silverware still in the drawer below them. The pantry was still organized by similiar groups of foods and Demyx knew exactly where everything was. Even more to his surprise was Axel had all of the ingredients for what the blonde had in store.

As he mixed everything together in the mixing bowl he had retrieved from the under-the-counter cabinet next to the stove, Demyx briefly wondered _why_ he was doing this. He didn't have to. Axel didn't owe him anything. But as he poured the batter onto the hot, greasy pan, all of his doubts were erased. And he knew he was doing the right thing, even if his heart was ripping in two.

* * *

When Axel woke up, he was quite confused to say the least.

The first thing he noticed was Demyx was gone. He sighed, sadly, thinking the blonde had awoken either in the night or before he did and had left. The phantom scent of the ocean and a soft breeze exuded from where Demyx had been sleeping peacefully the nightbefore. As he looked around, Axel spotted the junior's clothing from the night before where Axel had laid them that night before putting him to bed. And on top of his confusion, he smelled the _wonderful _smell of...chocolate-chip pancakes?

He blinked. Was it possible...?

Rubbing his eyes and yawning as he stretched, the redhead disentangled himself from his twisted sheets and rose from his bed. He followed the smell down the hall, hoping desperately he wasn't dreaming and what he thought was going on really was. His heart pounding in his chest, he turned the corner into the kitchen.

What a sight to behold.

Demyx was standing at Axel's stove with a hot, greasy griddle in front of him and a mixing bowl of cream-colored batter beside him. The redhead's kitchen table had been cleared off and his useless junk had been replaced by two placemats, forks and knives, plates, napkins, maple syrup, glasses of orange juice (Axel's with exactly three cubes of ice, a weird fetish of his), and an assortment of jams and butter. Demyx looked over at him and smiled softly, waving.

His voice was unbearably sweet as he said quietly, " 'Morning. I made your favorite."

Axel's jaw dropped. He stared, dumbfounded, at Demyx. His eyes flickered from the blonde standing at his stove to the table behind him. He tried to form his name, his mouth making the shapes but no words coming out. Demyx let out a soft chuckle, returning his attention to the pancake he was currently cooking. "Don't just stand there. You know how fast the ice in your orange juice tends to melt."

But his feet wouldn't move. In the pit of his stomach, he felt like he could regurgitate his dinner from the night before. He was suddenly consumed by guilt, fully aware that he should smack the spatula out of Demyx's hand and explain everything. His feet shifted forward, making a slow progression across the kitchen to the table. As much as his conscience screamed at him to just spill everything, he couldn't form the actual words. With a heavy heart, he sat down in his seat at the table.

Demyx was there immediately with a heaping plate of chocolate chip pancakes. Axel's _favorite_ type of pancakes. The only form of pancakes he would ever agree to eat, made by the only person he would ever trust with his life.

Oh, the guilt he felt then.

They ate in silence, Axel trying to resist staring at Demyx but failing miserably. It had been so _long_ since he had been sitting there with Axel, and the fact that he was _here_ overwhelmed him. He idly stabbed at his pancakes doused in syrup. His eyes were glued to Demyx, and they were not going anywhere. He felt his heart stop when those infinite blue eyes met his own and didn't leave.

It was just a stare. That's all it should have been. It shouldn't have changed in the ten seconds they held each other's gaze and didn't let go. But as they leaned towards each other, and their eyes fluttered closed, their hearts racing in their chests, neither was sure it was just a stare anymore.

"AXEL!!"

He flinched at the sound of Larxene's voice screaming his name, followed by banging on his front door loud enough to be fireworks. He sighed, and groaned, though the sigh sounded more like a hiss. With another another heavy sigh, he stood up reluctantly and left the kitchen. Behind him, Demyx closed his eyes and released a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

'_So close..._'

Axel relutantly walked to his front door and set a hand on the doornob. With a third sigh, he opened the door.

There stood Larxene, her electric green eyes blazing with anger. Her eyebrows angled down at a sharp degree Axel hadn't even thought possible, her mouth turned down in a menacing grimace. Judging by her furiously crossed arms, Axel guessed she would kill the next person she saw. Unfortunately for him, it was, well, him.

He made a face. "Ew."

Larxene ignored his comment, her voice piercing as she hissed, "_Why _didn't you call me last night? You said you were going to."

"I did?" Axel asked, raising an eyebrow uninterestedly. Whenever it came to Larxene, he had to feign the utmost patience. But the fact she had interrupted what could have been one of the best moments of his life made it hard to put on that mask. "Hm. I can't remember. Must have been someone else."

"Cut the crap, Axel," Larxene commanded, her already malicious glare intensifying.

"Look, now's not exactly a good time," Axel said, glancing over his shoulder and scratching the back of his head. "I--"

"You _what_?" She demanded. "Have company? Please, Axel. As if either one of them would come to visit _you_."

"Leave _them_ out of this," he growled. References to his parents were never in his interest, especially not when coming from a demon like Larxene. "Can't we talk about this later--"

"No, we _can't_!" she nearly screamed, shoving him back inside and slaming the door shut behind her. "Why do you _always _do this?! Whenever _I _have a problem, you _never_ care!! You always think of some excuse to get yourself out of talking about it when I need to the most!!"

"Oh, _come on_," Axel groaned, rolling his eyes out of disgust. "Like you even have problems. The biggest problem _you _have is not knowing what to wear in the mornings."

"Why do I even put _up _with you?!" she shouted. "You're so self-centered!! All you care about is yourself! When I need you, you're always doing something for yourself! You never think about anyone else!"

"Funny. Is that me you're describing or you?"

She let out a wild shriek of frustration and stormed past him into the kitchen. Along the way, she was still screaming. "And then you always insult people! You're a horrible person, Axel! I'm getting my stuff and--"

Larxene stopped in her tracks and froze. Her eyes flickered from Axel to the blonde seated at the aforementioned redhead's table and then back to Axel. She looked at Demyx again, then snapped her head over to Axel, who was leaning against the counter in front of the sink.

"What is _he_ doing here?" she seethed, pointing an accusing finger at Demyx.

"What's it to you?" Axel growled.

"Have you forgotten that I'm your _girlfriend_?!" she shouted, barreling towards him. "_I _should be the most important thing in your life! Not some pathetic _gay _ex-boyfriend!"

Axel's eyes narrowed, and his brows knitted together furiously. His lips curled back in a snarl as he seethed angrily, "_I'm_ gay, too, you know."

Larxene scoffed. "Please. You're going out with _me._ How are you _possibly_--"

"Not anymore," the pyro said, still glaring at the blonde girl before him. "We're done, you heartless bitch. Now get out of my apartment."

"But--"

His eyes burned darkly with hatred. He straightened himself, towering over her. His voice was merciless as balled his hands into tightly wound fists and he hissed, "Out."

Larxene glared at him a final time, then grabbed the house key she had left for him to her place and threw the spare key she had coughed up from him in his face. "Whatever, Axel."

She stormed thunderously out of the kitchen, her footsteps still audible from the front of the small apartment. From the open front door, she called out, "Later, loser."

"_Much_ later."

With an aggravated groan, she slammed the door behind her as hard as it could be slammed.

Axel let out a frustrated sigh. He ran a hand through his loose red spikes, gripping onto the roots tightly in his fingers. Unmoved from the kitchen table, mostly out of fear, Demyx remained motionless and silent. His eyes were wide with astonishment, his mouth clamped shut. Even taking a breath scared the blonde at this point, having seen the malicious, unforgiving side of Axel. That was enough to scare even the bravest and most fearless.

"I hate her," Axel whispered, more to himself than to Demyx. Demyx continued to remain silent. The redhead looked up at the other boy in the room with him, his green eyes sad. "I'm sorry you had to see that. She's not exactly the most...understanding person."

"...i-it's okay..." Demyx whispered in a small voice. He looked back down at his plate of mostly eaten pancakes, before he stood up and said, "I-I should probably get going...Luxord will be wondering where I am."

Axel nodded, his eyes never leaving Demyx. Deep in his chest, he felt his heart crack down the center. Demyx leaving meant things would go back to the way they were: the awkwardness at lunch, the silence in the car on the way home, the longing glances neither one ever caught. If Demyx left, things would fall back into the same, unchanging pattern. Axel would still hold the guilt and the pain that had destroyed him and his life, as well as the best thing to ever happen to him. He would never get to tell Demyx the things he had left unsaid when they really _should_ have been said without any delay whatsoever.

There was still time. Demyx was so close, right next to him in fact, as he washed off his dishes and his utensils. He could _hear_ Demyx's breath entering and leaving his lungs, he was so close. He could say it all, tell him everything as he dried his hands. All he had to do was reach out and...

Demyx left his wet dishes in the sink and dried his hands. He walked right past Axel, refusing to meet his gaze.

Axel sighed, and closed his eyes.

'_I'm sorry._'  


* * *

"Axel."

The pyro lifted his head from his folded arms and looked up at his best friend, his green eyes miserable. Roxas didn't want to do this, for he knew it would rip open wounds Axel had so desperately tried to heal, but he had to know. If he simply knew _why_, then maybe he could get Axel to fix this.

His best friend had called him in a fit of tears after dropping off Demyx at his house. Roxas had barely been able to understand him as he wept, and immediately ran down the street to his house. When he walked in, he heard Axel's soft whimpers from the kitchen and knew this wasn't good.

"...why'd you do it?" Roxas asked carefully. "Why'd you break up with him...after so long? You guys...were so happy..."

Axel stared at him for a moment, before comprehension flickered in his eyes. He swallowed hard, sitting up fully and gripping his hair in his fist with frustration.

He had tried to bury all of the pain and all of the guilt that had consumed him. He had tried so long ago, so many times and in so many different ways. But none of them had worked. There was only one way to eliminate it all together, but that was far beyond his grasp.

"...you can't tell him..." Axel whispered, refusing to meet Roxas's gaze. "You promised me you wouldn't tel lhim."

"Axel..." Roxas gave his friend a disapproving look. "You know I wouldn't."

"I just have to make sure," Axel clarified. "I don't want him to hear it from someone else. It's not that I don't trust you or anything...it's just, if he _ever_ finds out, I want it to be from me."

"Don't worry, Axel, I'm not telling anyone. I promise. I just want to know why."

"You already know why," Axel growled.

"Why don't you?" Roxas asked. "He'll forgive you in a heartbeat."

Axel looked up at Roxas with horror, his green eyes filled with fear. He shook his head, feeling tears sting the back of of his eyes. "No...it would crush him."

"I think you've already done that, Axel," Roxas whispered quietly.

The pyro shook his head. "I can't...I'm not strong enough."

"Have you tried?"

Axel opened his mouth to speak, but then paused. He sifted through Roxas's words, replaying them in his head, and thought it. He had _wanted_ to tell him everything, and he almost did it...but then he couldn't. He hadn't necessarily tried, seeing as he never actually spoken about this, nor had he spoken to Demyx much at all before he left.

His eyes closed unwillingly. Behind his dark lids, he saw Demyx's beautiful, angelic face. His blue eyes sparkled like the ocean, his lips curved into a gentle smile, his cheeks flushed a soft pink. And Axel smiled, too, his eys fluttering open as he pictured Demyx's sweet image.

He looked back over at Roxas and shook his head.

"Then _tell him_," Roxas demanded, his eyebrows narrowing at Axel's incompetance. "Tomorrow at lunch. Get him alone and tell him how you feel."

"Easier said than done," Axel said dryly.

"Axel..." Roxas sighed. The blonde shook his head at his best friend, utterly frustrated with him. "You need to tell him eventually."

"How can I?!" Axel asked fiercely, glaring at the blonde. "Do I just say, 'Oh, I didn't _mean_ to completely break your heart and ruin your life, and by the way, I got drunk and had sex with a girl!?"

"It would be better than nothing," Roxas snapped, glaring back at the redhead. "I'm about ready to tell him myself. Zexion is too. This is ridiculous, Axel. He was all yours last night _and _this morning, and you _still _didn't tell him. I think I might tell him on Monday."

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I think I will," Roxas replied. "Just because you don't care about him doesn't mean I don't."

"Don't you _DARE_ tell me I don't care about him!!" Axel yelled, balling his hands into fists and slamming them down on the table.

"It really doesn't look like you do, Axel. If you did, you'd just tell him instead of moping about how awful you feel. You have to trust him Axel. I know you're weird about that sort of thing, but this is _Demyx_ we're talking about. Safe, gentle Demyx. He loves you, and he'll forgive you. I promise you he will."

"The guy hardly even speaks to me. How could he _possibly_ still like me?"

"Axel, are you blind?!" the blond nearly shouted, standing up suddenly. Axel flinched at the sudden raise in his voice, now cowering in fear of a suddenly infuriated Roxas. "He made you _breakfast_. Your favorite, no less! He bothered to even _remember _what your favorite breakfast even is, got out of bed when he could have been _sleeping_, and then he made it! From scratch! Thinking about anything relating to you probably hurts him, Axel! It probably hurts a lot! But he does it anyway. Why do you think he'd do that?"

"I have no fucking idea, how the hell am I supposed to know?!" Axel shouted back, glaring at up at his friend.

Roxas groaned and rolled his eyes. "He _loves _you, you idiot! That's why! He'd do anything to win you back, even something as simple as flipping a few pancakes! You never see the way he looks at you because you're too busy trying to get over yourself using Larxene as a distraction! You never see how hurt he looks when you two are together, how he _longs_ for you, how he wishes it were him in your arms instead of that stupid bitch. Feeling bad is all well and good, Axel, but it doesn't mean anything unless Demyx knows about it!"

"And what makes _you_ think you know about this?! You--"

"I'm not an idiot, Axel!" Roxas cried, exasperated. "_You_ are! Love makes you blind, not stupid! But I guess in your case it _did_ make you stupid! Just tell him, all right? It's not the end of the world! I'm pretty sure you've already been through that!"

The redhead opened his mouth to protest, but then he realized Roxas was right. Things couldn't _get_ much worse from here. He had already been through the worst of hell--losing Demyx--so what could possibly be worse?

Roxas spun around and headed out of the kitchen towards the front door. "You've got one more week, or me and Zexion are telling him for you."

The blonde slammed the door behind him, leaving Axel with his thoughts.  


* * *

..»A/N: Oh, wow. That chapter was a LOT more eventful than how I originally planned it! Please don't kill me. I promise Axel will stop stalling soon!! It killed me to end it so ubruptly though.


	8. So Close Yet So Far

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 8: So Close Yet So Far  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:** to...Axel! Because he's so close to being happy.

..»A/N: No song lyrics...but I do have a flashback! XD **This chapter is kind of a two-parter...please don't kill me :(**

* * *

_Her lips didn't taste like his. _

_They didn't feel like his. They weren't rough and cool. Their strange, soft, unfamiliar curves were smeared with sticky strawberry lip gloss. The thick, gooey substance rubbed onto his lips and skin, and even into his mouth, making him want to gag. He didn't feel the least bit faint or weak the way he normally did. He didn't want to take her into his arms and ravage her the way he always had him. He wanted to die. _

_Her hands were in all the wrong places. _

_He had known exactly where to touch. He would tangle his hands right at his scalp, right at his hairline on the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine. She would put hers on the crown of his hair, almost as if she were petting an animal. Her fingers were soft and feather like, instead of rough and calloused the way his were. _

_And fuck, her tongue._

_He nearly gagged when it pushed its way through his lips. It was slimey and almost sticky and wetter than wet. Every second his tounge slid across hers, he wanted to push her away and gag until he couldn't anymore. The way he had kissed him was unbearably teasing, until the pyro had enough of that of course, and rough as well as painfully gentle. His lips were harder than hers were, chapped ever so slightly, and definitely not smeared in lip gloss._

_When he opened his eyes, his heart fell in his chest when he did not meet the oceanic eyes he had been hoping for. The vile green that stared back at him was anything but the one he was dreaming of._

* * *

"_WHAT_?! What do you MEAN he didn't tell him?!"

Riku's eyes had exploded to the size of extra large pizzas. Roxas and Naminé covered their ears and winced slightly as Riku screamed in disbelief. He whipped his head over to Axel, who sat at the far end of the lunch table terrified, and thundered angrily, "Axel!! _What the fuck is wrong with you_?!"

The redhead opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He trembled in fear of his silver-haired best friend, whose hand was not very far away from a plastic (but still sharp) knife. This enraged Riku even more, who nearly leapt across the table at him and grabbed him by his neck. Beside him, Zexion watched with great interest as Riku stormed over and back-handed Axel across the face.

"Ow!" Axel smacked Riku's hand away, pressing his palm against his burning cheek. "What the_ fuck_! What was that for?!"

"For being a fucking _idiot_, that's what!!" Riku shouted, glaring at the pyro before him. "You had over twelve hours with him _all alone_!! Why didn't you tell him?! You're never going to get a perfect fucking chance like that again!!"

"Riku, is so much profanity really necessary?" Naminé asked quietly. He sighed and glanced over at her, mumbling an apology.

"What was I _supposed _to do?! Fall into his arms and cry about how sorry I am?!" Axel shouted. He returned the glare Riku was giving him, rubbing his cheek tenderly with the back of his hand. Riku balled his hands into fists and growled, "It would be better than nothing!"

"I've told you fifty thousand fucking times! We're _never_ going to be together again!! I had everything I could ever want, but I screwed it up and I'm _not_ getting it back!"

"Have you even _tried_?!"

Axel and Riku's shouts grew louder, attracting attention of students around them. Sora, Roxas, Naminé, and Zexion all stared in shock as they argued and cursed (rather loudly), surprised that Demyx hadn't heard them across the lunchroom. Their insults grew exponentially nastier and far more personal as they screamed and berated one another. Naminé felt her balled fists shaking underneath the table from her growing annoyance and frustration. Unable to stand their bickering any longer, she stood up suddenly and, surprisingly loud for such a small girl, shouted, "Will you two _listen_ to yourselves?!"

Both juniors fell silent, Axel now standing up and gripping Riku by the collar of his jacket. Roxas's eyes shot up at her, wide with amazement and even fear. She glared at them menacingly, her deep blue eyes tearing them apart. "Look at you two!! You're _best friends_, aren't you?! Riku, you should be helping Axel, not insulting him and yelling at him!! And Axel, you shouldn't be refusing to even _try_ to get Demyx to understand! And then you blame it on _us_!! We're just trying to help you! Anyone would _kill_ to be even half as close to their dreams as you are!! But you're running away and making excuses, acting like it's _our_ fault! Just tell him already and stop acting like such a child!! Grow up and take responsibility for _your_ mistake!!"

Axel's hand went limp around Riku's collar. He stared wide-eyed at petite blonde girl, who was visibily shaking from her rage. She let out a frustrated sigh and sat back down in her chair, sipping her tea silently.

No one spoke or even dared to move.

"...N-Naminé?" Axel asked hesitantly.

She slammed her bottle of tea down on the table. "_What_?"

"I...I've _never_ seen you so mad before," he said.

Naminé shrugged. "I don't think I've ever _been_ so mad in my life."

"...Axel," Zexion said, speaking up for the first time the entire lunch period. He stood up, his blue eyes surprisingly soft and serene. "I'm begging you. Please, _please_, just explain everything to Demyx. This is killing him. He hardly eats or sleeps. I'm afraid he's going to wither away to nothing if this goes on much longer. If you won't do it for us, do it for him. He _needs_ you, Axel."

The redhead looked down at the floor beneath his feet, Demyx's tear-stained face appearing in his mind.

"...and by the looks of things," Zexion continued, appraising Axel with his tired eyes. "It seems you need him, too."

As much as he tried to deny it, Axel knew Zexion was right. He knew Riku and Naminé were right, and that it was high time he told Demyx everything.

...but where could he start?

* * *

Axel gripped his hair in his fist as he sketched, gazing miserably at his sketchbook and thousandth drawing of his one and only.

There were only two pages in the entire sketchbook (which he had almost filled) that didn't feature Demyx, and those were the two at the beginning. He had drawn them right after he had gotten it, a mere week before their devastating break-up.

Suddenly, there was a soft, faint knock at his front door.

He looked up, surprised. Confused, he closed his sketchbook and set it down on the couch beside him. He stood up and walked over, turning the door handle and swinging it open. On the other side laid the biggest surprise he could only dream of.

"_Demyx_?" he asked, his eyes wide. He quickly regained his composure. "W-what are you doing here?"

Demyx shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze. He paused before replying, "...they shut my water off."

(Unbeknownst to Axel, this was a big fat lie.)

The blonde fidgeted nervously, picking at the threads of his jeans. "So, I...I was kinda wondering...if I could, um, shower over here..."

Unable to speak, Axel nodded and opened the door completely, allowing Demyx to pass. As the blonde walked by, he caught a faint wiff of the ocean and peppermint and a soft breeze, the three smells that were simply _Demyx_. He released a shuddering sigh and shut the door, Demyx oblivious to what his presence alone was doing to Axel.

"...I...I guess go right ahead..." Axel mumbled, scratching the back of his neck while avoiding eye contact with him. Demyx nodded and headed towards the bathroom, a change of clothes stuffed under his arm.

* * *

Demyx heard the shower water start. Axel had suddenlly decided he would shower after Demyx had gotten out. He fell backwards onto Axel's couch, looking around the living room he knew so well. Nothing had changed, really, with the exception of Axel's art supplies scattered this way and that. But that, too, was normal.

As he glanced around the spacious area, his eyes came to rest on Axel's black hard-cover sketchbook. It had been a while since he last saw any kind of art done by Axel. Demyx had flipped through his sketchbook thousands of times, carefully tracing his precise lines with his finger. Surely, the redhead wouldn't mind. He reached over and gripped it in his fingers, drawing over to him.

He flipped open the first page and felt a soft smile grace his lips. The first thing Axel had drawn months ago when he got it was Roxas trying desperately to keep his melting ice cream from flowing over the top of the cone. Demyx remembered watching Axel draw it, how his hand moved so fast and so accurately, capturing every detail as if he had taken a picture.

Beneath it was Naminé laughing at him as she licked her own ice cream cone, and beside that was Zexion trying to muffle his laughter while he sipped his iced tea. Demyx shook his head at his best friend, smiling to himself.

On the next page, Axel had drawn Riku stealing a bite of Sora's ice cream as the brunette watched in horror. The blonde felt himself laughing at how shocked Sora looked. Next to that was Demyx himself, smiling softly as he finished off the last of his cone and licked sticky bits of ice cream off his fingers. His chest tightened, remembering when these drawings had been created. Four days before the devastating break-up.

He turned the page. Axel must have drawn something else after that. Larxene, probably. Maybe even naked.

His eyes widened and his heart stopped.

Covering a full spread were various drawings of _Demyx_. The first hadn't been that big of a deal. It had been while they were still together. But all of the doodles and sketches before him were _after_ they broke up. He turned another page. Yet another spread, this time with were larger images and more of Demyx's body. Most of them were smiling or laughing, rather than sad and broken like Demyx was feeling. Page after page after page all contained drawings of him. He flipped towards the end, and looked at the last thing Axel had drawn.

It was them. As is he and Axel. _Together_.

Leaning in for a kiss.

Demyx gasped and slammed the book closed. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, trying to erase the drawing from his mind. But a few seconds later, he found himself with the book open to that very page and staring at the pencil drawing.

Demyx's eyes were closed and his lips were parted slightly, his hair on the back of his neck gripped in Axel's fist. His own fingers were brushing against the corner of Axel's lips, which were parted as well almost as if he were gasping. The redhead's eyes were barely open, gazing at Demyx...almost _longingly_.

His eyes flickered immediately to the date. As he processed the numbers and dashes, his entire body went numb.

It was _today_'s date.

His fingers trembled as he shut the sketchbook and set it back down on the couch beside him. He took deep, slow breaths, trying to slow his pounding heart. Ignoring the voice in his head telling him exactly what he had been wanting to hear for months was so hard, especially when it sounded just like Axel's voice.

"Demyx?"

The blonde looked up at the sound of his name. Axel was standing there, watching him carefully, drying his damp hair with a towel. Demyx's lips parted in a small, inaudible gasp.

"...is something wrong?" Axel surprised Demyx by sounding geniunely concerned.

"N-no..." Demyx replied, standing up. "I, I just need some water..."

He brushed past Axel and into the kitchen. The redhead followed closely behind him, squeezing out the remaining moisture in his red locks. Demyx was over at his kitchen table, downing a glass of water quickly. Axel ditched the towel on the table, leaning in front of Demyx in concern.

"...Demyx?" Axel asked, his eyes filled with worry. "Are you okay...?"

The blonde in question gulped down the rest of his water and set the glass down on the table with a loud _thud_. He breathed deep and hard, glancing over at Axel and immediately getting lost in his eyes. Their gazes never parted as Axel took the glass out of Demyx's hands--his hands were just so _warm_--and set on the counter behind him. Both felt their hearts racing in their chests as Axel twirled one of his fingers around Demyx's shaking digits.

Much to his surprise, Axel felt Demyx intertwine their fingers, squeezing his hand gently. Both glanced down at their joined hands, then back up at each other.

Axel nearly gasped when Demyx brought the hand he was holding up to his lips and kissed Axel's fingers gently. His blue eyes fluttered back open and pierced right through Axel to his very core.**  
**  
"Demyx..."

Axel's hand seized Demyx's cheek, grazing the soft skin there with his fingers. His thumbs traced his cheekbones as his shaking fingers ran along the sharp curve of the blonde's jaw. Demyx felt his lips trembling as he bit back a sigh; Axel's hands had tranquilizing effect on him, calming him down with a single touch. It took everything he had to stop himself from falling against Axel's warm chest and cuddling into his neck.

Demyx didn't try to stop him as he closed the distance between them and pulled his shuddering, gasping body up against him. Axel couldn't stop himself; he couldn't make his hands pry themselves from Demyx's skin. His hands wandered through his blonde hair, causing his eyes to close and a soft sigh to escape his lips. Without thinking, Demyx snaked his arms around Axel's neck and tangled his fingers in the wild red mane. Absentmindedly, Demyx lightly ran his fingernails over the older boy's scalp and twisted his fingers around unruly red strands. Axel let out a soft groan and closed his eyes, pressing his forehead against Demyx's. His warm breath tickled the blonde's lips.

Axel tilted his head to his left, the side of his nose rubbing against Demyx's. He didn't dare open his eyes, afraid of this moment ending. Demyx allowed his eyes to close fully, and angled his face as well.

And then, for the first time in six agonizing months, their lips met in a soft, warm kiss.

Axel snapped. His hands gripped onto Demyx tighter and pulled him in closer, suddenly _needing_ to feel his body against him. He began kissing the blonde uncontrollably, his lips rough and desperate as they ravaged the blonde's own. Demyx fought to control himself and the strong urge he had to get lost in Axel's touch, his will disappearing with every kiss they exchanged. It was when he felt Axel's hands fumbling with the buttons on his shirt that Demyx completely lost it.

He suddenly burst into motion. His fingers tangled themselves further in Axel's hair and he pressed his body against the redhead currently fighting with his shirt. Subconciously, his lips parted in soft sigh, and his warm breath drove Axel to the point of insanity. The pyro siezed the few seconds Demyx's lips were apart and slid his tounge into the blonde's mouth, causing him to gasp and flick his own tounge out into Axel's mouth.

Neither had _needed_ anything so badly in the past few months, nor that they could ever remember. As Axel kissed him and sighed into his mouth, his fingers unbuttoning his shirt and ultimately ripping it off him, Demyx realized how much he had needed to feel Axel's hands on him and his mouth desperately claiming the younger boy's own; how he _ached_ to feel loved and wanted by the one person he loved more than life itself. He knew in the back of his mind that he should have stopped this, should have stopped Axel from hoisting him up onto the kitchen table and gently pressing him down against it, Axel coming right down with him and laying on top of him, but with every kiss, he was pulled deeper and deeper into the inferno of Axel's touch.

Their lips parted for a brief moment, just long enough for Axel to pull his own shirt off over his head, and immediately go back to smothering Demyx. The blonde's arms wound themselves around Axel's neck, his fingers twirling around unruly red locks and gripping onto them violently. Axel ripped his lips from Demyx's, moving down to his neck hungrily. He instantly threw his head back, giving Axel better access as he kissed, bit, and licked the delicate skin of his throat. Demyx's breath came in short, muffled gasps and sighs, his chest rising and falling with every pant and his back arching against Axel. Their hips grinded together, hard erections brushed past each other, wandering hands gripping at the slick flesh of sweaty bodies.

Demyx was crying out for more, Axel's hand working at Demyx's pants and _barely_ slipping inside when, suddenly, the smaller teen's cell phone vibrated in his pocket and Passion resonated throughout the room. Both gasped and pulled apart, Demyx frantically digging in his pocket for his phone.

He gripped it in his fist and almost had it out of his pocket when Axel grabbed his wrist tightly. His voice was low and husky as he whispered, "Just let it ring."

He tried replacing his mouth over Demyx's, only for the blonde to pull away again. "I _have_ to answer it--"

Axel cut him off with a hungry kiss. Demyx nearly dropped his phone and wrapped his arms back around Axel's neck, but pulled away hesitantly and without looking at who it was, he flipped the silver phone and held it up to his ear.

"H-Hello?" he asked breathlessly, his voice deep and husky, his eyes never leaving Axel's. Those beautiful green eyes were clouded over with lust and longing as he gazed at Demyx, their owner gasping for air. It took all Demyx had to not slam his phone shut, throw it across the kitchen, and claim Axel's mouth with his own.

_"Demyx! Are you okay? Where the hell are you?!"_

"I'm fine," Demyx replied quickly. Luxord _always_ called at the most inconvienent times.

_"Where are you?"_

"What do you care?"

_"What the hell did you--"_

"Luxord, get to the point."

"_Get the hell over here. They fucking towed my car."_

"What? Why now?"

_"Because I'm not spending my entire night downtown! Now get over here and pick me up!"_

"I'm a little busy--"

_"Demyx!! NOW!!"_

"Fine. I'll be there in a few minutes."

_"You better be or--"_

Demyx took the phone from his ear and closed it, shoving it back in his pocket. His eyes met Axel's, and he suddenly didn't care about Luxord.

Above him, the bright green of the redhead's eyes burned with want and need. Those rough lips crashed into his again, gasping into the hot-wet kiss. To hell with Luxord; he could call a cab and easily get home. After months and _months_ of waiting desperately, Demyx finally had what he wanted. And he wasn't about to let his unresponsible brother ruin it for him.

Much to his surprise, however, Axel's lips parted from his and whispered, "...you should go..."

Demyx sighed and nodded, sadly realizing Axel was right. His eyes fluttered open, and met the pyro's sadly, trying to discern the emotion emitting from his green orbs. They awkwardly climbed off of Axel's kitchen table and located their discarded shirts. Axel watched his blonde companion as he pulled his shirt over his arms slowly (deliberately) and buttoned it with great care.

And suddenly, he wanted to tell him everything.

Watching his delicate fingers push the buttons through the buttonholes, Axel wanted to explain it all to Demyx. He wanted to stop him from leaving and keep him here, telling him everything he should have said months ago. He wanted things to be okay between them and for the past six months to fade into nothing, like a fleeting nightmare. Demyx walked towards the front door, much like he had that terrible day months ago, without looking back.

"Wait."

Demyx spun around and nearly gasped when Axel's eyes were so close to his. The redhead had gripped Demyx's arm gently in his strong hand. Demyx's didn't move to resist him, but instead, gazed at him intently.

Axel's heart pounded in his chest. He stared at the other boy for a long while, absorbing the blue of his eyes and blonde of his hair. As he did, he thought about how he could possibly tell him what he had done, how he could defend himself, and give Demyx a reason to forgive him. He thought and thought and thought, but every time he came up with a solution, it ended up being the wrong way to go about it. He released Demyx's arm, and whispered softly, "...drive safe."

Demyx nodded quickly, tripping over his own feet as he opened the front door and stumbled out. Axel shut the door behind him, and leaned against the cool wood with his eyes closed.

* * *

..»A/N: I promise we're almost done! I would have combined this chapter and the next one, but that would have been a monster chapter and I didn't really feel like it...

..»**Reviews are your friends :D**


	9. The Words He Couldn't Say

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 9: The Words He Couldn't Say  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)

..»**A/N:** Flashbacks and song lyrics wouldn't have been right for this chapter. Enjoy. XD

* * *

The rain had finally stopped. Axel was sprawled out across his couch with the TV remote in his hand, mindlessly flipping channels.

It was impossible to concentrate on anything. His mind raced endlessly, replaying their kiss from only hours ago in his head in a cyclic loop. The taste and smell of the blonde's peppermint gum still lingered on Axel's lips and in his nose. Beneath his fingers wasn't the cool plastic of the remote, but instead, Demyx's hot, smooth skin. Every time he blinked, he felt those lips pushing against his own and Demyx's hips thrusting upwards and--

His fantasy was interrupted by a Synthesis Direct commercial with that stupid Moogle dancing in the corner. With a deep scowl, he changed the channel.

Allie took Noah's face between her hands and kissed him without hesitation. His arms wound around her small body and pulled her to him, kissing her passionately in the rain. Axel's frown deepened, remembering that this very part of _The Notebook_ showed Allie and Noah forgetting about the past and falling into each other's arms as if nothing had happened. Still scowling, he hit the "channel up" button on his remote.

And suddenly, there was a knock at the door.

Axel looked up, surprised, then glanced at the clock. Who _honestly_ wanted to bother him just before midnight? Even Roxas would call him on his phone instead of walking a block and showing up at Axel's door. He was certain Zexion would _not_ want to see him, given their argument the day before. And Riku was probably screwing Sora right about now. Axel shuddered involuntarily at the thought.

Tossing the remote on the recliner nearby, Axel dragged himself off the couch and towards his front door.

When he swung the door open towards him, his eyes went wide with surprise.

"_Demyx?_" Axel asked, rubbing his eyes to make sure he was seeing correctly. The blonde in question nodded, nervously clicking his heels together.

"...can I come in?"

The redhead's knees went weak at the sound of Demyx's overly sweet and soft voice. Unable to speak, he nodded wordlessly and moved aside. Demyx timidly stepped inside, tip-toeing his way into Axel's living room. He glanced over at the blaring TV, which for some reason showed Allie and Noah rolling around in an enormous bed having passionate sex. Confused, he glanced over at Axel, who raised an eyebrow at his TV.

"I thought I changed that." He retrieved the remote and shut off the TV all together.

An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Demyx refused to meet Axel's gaze, who was staring back at him. In his pockets, Demyx's hands formed fists and gripped the lining between his fingers. His feet fidgetted nervously, and he glanced around, trying to seem occupied. Axel ran a hand through his fiery hair, scratching the back of his neck in an effort to seem disinterested.

Demyx was the first to snap.

Without so much a warning, he flung himself at the redhead and kissed him fiercely. Axel stepped back, surprised, but was immediately lost in those soft, perfect lips. Their arms awkwardly tightened around each other, gripping at their shirts and hair frantically. Demyx's hands gripped onto Axel's cheeks and his jaw firmly, committing his neck, cheeks, and shoulders to memory. His lips parted in a sigh and their tounges slid over each other, reaqquainting themselves with the inside of each other's mouthes.

Axel tangled his fingers in Demyx's blonde hair, the back recesses of his mind yelling at him to stop this immediately and explain everything he should have said months ago before it was too late. He felt Demyx's hands on the skin of his stomach and he sighed, his less noble side saying to hell with it and giving in. But he resisted, and pulled away abruptly, breathing hard.

"D-Demyx, wait," Axel said quickly.

"W-What?" Demyx asked, confused. "Why? Is something wrong?

"I-I need to tell you something," Axel stammered, gently pushing Demyx back so he could catch his breath. The blonde's eyebrows knitted together, confused, and he asked, "...what is it?"

Axel paused before continuing. This was it. The past six months had all added up to this, the moment he had been dreading. He considered backing out and telling Demyx to forget about it. But then he pictured Zexion standing over him with a freshly-sharpened machete and suddenly regretted even thinking such a thing. He had gotten himself into this whole mess, and it was about time he got himself out of it.

"...it's about why we broke up."

Immediately, Demyx felt a sharp pain in his chest. He forced the memory from his mind, unwilling to remember it and how much pain he had been in, how hurt he _still _was. Instead, he just kept himself in the present, focusing on Axel's face and his words.

"Axel..." Demyx breathed, his voice full of emotion. "It...it's okay...I, I'm over it...that happened so long ago..."

"No," Axel insisted, shutting his eyes tightly. "You need to hear this. You deserve to hear it. I...I should have told you this months ago..."

Axel paused, trying to think of how to word this correctly. He looked up at Demyx's beautiful blue eyes, and everything he had ever planned to say to him disappeared. He just started spitting out the first things that came to him, immediately looking back down. "...I lied about why I broke up with you. I wasn't interested in girls. I never have been. Something...something happened."

Demyx was suddenly afraid. He wasn't sure of whether or not he wanted to know what Axel was going to say.

"...what?" Demyx asked. "You..._lied_ to me...?"

"Please, just listen...that night...the night of your uncle's birthday," Axel began, looking up at Demyx nervously. Demyx nodded, urging him to continue. "The night of Sephiroth's party...the one you couldn't go to but told me to go to..." Axel paused, but only for a moment. "That night...I made a mistake. A really big mistake. I was so irresponsible...I--"

"Axel," Demyx cut in gently, taking the redhead's hand in his. Try as he might, he couldn't force the memory of that _awful _day from his mind. He felt his heart breaking in the same way it did then. His hands tightened around Axel's as tears stung the back of his eyes. "Tell me what happened. What exactly did you do? Please...tell me..."

"I had sex with Larxene," he blurted out, suddenly wishing he hadn't. Demyx's eyes grew wide, and his lips parted in shock, his entire body freezing up. His mouth moved to speak, but no sound came out. The skin on his face paled impossibly white as he barely gasped, "..._what_...? Axel...how could you--"

Axel immediately panicked, and grabbed Demyx's hand in both of his. He shook his head wildly and bit back a sob. "No! Listen! Please...please listen..."

"I've _been_ listening, Axel!" Demyx cried, tears flowing freely down his cheeks. "I've been listening to you talk to Larxene and..._kiss _her...and tell her all the things you told _me_!! I...I've been listening to all of the _cold_ things you've said to me and _missing_ you and...now _this_!! How am I supposed to listen, now, Axel?! Do...do you _hate_ me...?! Is that why you broke my heart?!"

"_No_!" Axel cried desperately, his cheeks wet now, too. This couldn't be happening. Demyx _had_ listen, he had to. Axel needed to say so much, Demyx absolutely _had_ to listen to him. His mouth formed the words, but he couldn't find the voice to say them with. He felt Demyx's hands ripping themselves away from Axel's and Demyx walking around him. Unable to do anything else, Axel cried out and grabbed the blonde's arm tightly, collapsing to his knees. Hiccups burned his throat as he struggled to find the words.

"_Demyx_!" Axel cried, shaking his head. "I could never, _ever_ hate you! _Never! _Not even if you asked me to...!"

Demyx stared at the redhead clinging to him with wide eyes. Although it couldn't have been more than a few seconds, he stared at the shaking form before him for what felt like an eternity. Axel looked back up at him, his cheeks glittering with tears. Demyx suddenly wanted to throw his arms around him and kiss him, forgetting about the past six months and what Axel had done. He whispered quietly, "...Axel...don't lie to me..._again_...what happened?"

"I didn't mean to!" he repeated, his voice softer and sincere. His eyes were soft yet fierce, sadness and regret lined with determination. "I really didn't! I got drunk, I had too many...I wasn't being responsible. I...I, I used protection, but I should have thought about it!"

"...but I didn't! It just happened..." he moaned painfully. "And I regret it, Demyx. I really do!! I woke up the next morning and remembered what happened and...I just wanted to die! I instantly thought of you and felt _awful_. The thought of telling you what I had done, of crushing you...it was unbearable. Even being with you and kissing you was too much to handle! I couldn't just sit around and let you love me when I had done something so horrible to you...I _had _to break up with you. You deserve so much better...I thought that by getting together with Larxene that you would see that _I _had moved on, and that you would too."

Demyx just remained there, unmoving, completely frozen. He absorbed Axel's words slowly, taking in each and every syllable until he sort of had an understanding of what Axel was trying to say.

"...but it didn't work!" Axel cried, suddenly exasperated. More tears streamed down his damp cheeks and he sniffled. "You loved me so much, and you just couldn't let go...I tried to protect you from my own stupid damn decision, and it didn't work. I lied to save you, but I broke your heart all the same...and I'm so _sorry_, Demyx."

His voice cracked, and the tears flowed freely now. He buried his face in his hands and gripped onto his hair tightly, his entire body shaking as he sobbed loudly and uncontrollably. Demyx watched him, shocked for a moment, before dropping to his knees and pulling the crying redhead into his arms tenderly. Axel gripped onto the blonde's shirt tightly, hiding his face in his neck and sobbing. Through his hiccups and wails, Demyx heard him repeatedly whisper "I'm so sorry" and felt light kisses on his neck.

"Shh..." he whispered gently, kissing Axel's hair softly. "Axel...it's okay, Axel...it was an accident...shhh..."

"I-I'm sorry it didn't work," the older teen cried loudly, sniffling and hiccuping. "I'm s-sorry I lied...I, I didn't want to hurt you...but I s-still did!! I'm so sorry, Demyx...I love you so much, I never stopped...y-you're all I was able to think about for the past six months. I miss you so much it _hurts_! I-I'll never be able to f-forgive my self for what I've d-done to you...I...I..."

His voice trailed off into tears. He gripped onto Demyx tighter, desperately afraid that if he were to let go, the blonde would slip away and he would be alone again. He was surprised, however, when Demyx pushed him back and gazed at him intently, fresh tears welling up in his eyes.

"Axel..." he breathed, his voice shaky. "Did...did you say you...still love me...?"

Without any hesitation, Axel nodded firmly, wiping tears from his cheeks.

"I love you," he repeated, his voice overflowing emotion just like the first time. He leaned forward and kissed Demyx's lips softly, shaky and shuddering breaths escaping his throat. He repeated the words over and over again, before straightening to look at the smaller teen once more. "I never stopped...You don't have to love me back, just let me love you...don't ask me to stop loving you...I never, _ever_ could, even if you asked me to...I love you too much to stop..."

And then something he hadn't expected happened. Demyx smiled. He smiled a wide, beautiful smile, one Axel hadn't seen in so long, one that lit up his entire face. Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and he inhaled shakily, still smiling as he started to cry. He wrapped his arms around Axel's neck and kissed him hard, smiling through the warm contact, and let out a soft sob.

"...I...I'm not dreaming this time..." Demyx whispered, pressing his lips to Axel's once more. "...am I...?"

Axel reached up and wiped tears from his cheeks, whispering, "No, Demyx you're not...don't cry..."

"I'm not sad," Demyx said firmly, still smiling. "I'm..._happy_. For the past six months, all I wanted was you. I'd see you in the halls with Larxene...and I wanted to _die_ knowing it had been me not long ago. I missed you so much, I cried almost everyday. When you weren't with me, there was this..._void_ in my heart and notthing could fill it. I _needed_ you to be with me and love me like you used to. I was so sure you would never love me again...and I had convinced myself that you hated me. But...you really _do_ love me...! I thought this could only happen in my wildest dreams...and...I love you, too."

Axel smiled back at him. His smile was wide and beautiful, showing off his flawless teeth. He felt lighter than air. His pounding heart in his chest slowed, and he relaxed. And all he could do was continue to smile.

With those simple words, everything had been washed away. All of the pain, the heartache, the loneliness, the fights...all of it was _gone_. All of the things Roxas had said to Axel and all of the nights Demyx cried on the phone with Zexion seemed like a fleeting dream. And all either had left in their hearts was love. Every misgiving had disappeared and in its wake left a gentle, calm warmth washing over them like waves on a beach.

"I hurt you so much..." Axel whispered, leaning forward and pressing soft kisses into Demyx's hair. "I was wrong. My mistakes broke you so badly...please...forgive me. I swear to you, I'll do anything, _anything_ you want...just tell me and I'll do it..."

Demyx smiled, and kissed Axel's neck softly. "Just...say it for me, just one more time..."

"I love you," Axel repeated, his face engulfed by the blonde's hair. "I love you more than anything...you're the only person I could ever want."

The blonde smiled, and just as softly as he had before, whispered, "I love you..."

He could _hear_ another smile spread across Axel's face. Demyx's arms tightened around him and he burried his face in his warm neck, still smiling. "I love you, Axel...I never stopped...I thought about you every single day..." Softly, gently, he kissed the smooth skin of Axel's neck repeatedly. His voice was soft and velvety as he murmured, "...I love so you much...I can't even describe it..."

"You don't have to," Axel whispered back, nuzzling the blonde's hair lovingly. "I don't care if you can find the words or not..."

"I want to. I promise I will. I'll sing them to you one day."

They remained tangled in each other's arms, faces buried in the other and breathing deeply. Axel inhaled the familiar scent of the ocean in Demyx's hair and sighed softly, kissing him gently. His voice was like velvet as he whispered, his voice full of pure love, "Demyx...please...come back and live with me...I miss you so much...it's too quiet without you..."

Demyx gasped and looked up at him. His eyes were wide and rimmed with tears as his lips curled into a smile. "­_Really_?! You...you mean it...?"

Axel smiled back at him and nodded. "Absolutely. I can't live here without you...it hurts so much...to know you could be asleep next to me, but you're not...and waking up without you everyday...oh, _Demyx_, I could never do that ever again. Please...don't make me try...I'll do anything..."

Tears leaked down Demyx's smiling cheeks. He kissed Axel's cheeks and lips softly, breathing in his fiery, cinnamon scent deeply. "Only if you promise me something."

Axel captured the blonde lips in a warm kiss, whispering, "Anything."

"...could you _not_ take my toothbrush in the mornings? I love you and all, but sharing toothbrushes is just weird."

Axel chuckled softly and nodded. "It's a promise."

* * *

It was well past three in the morning, and neither were the slightest bit tired.

They had held each other and cried and made up, then Demyx made brownies, Axel ate all of the brownies, they went out to the twenty-four hour video store, and rented _Titanic_ just for the heck of it. Just as Rose slid down on the couch with Jack in front of her, prepared to draw, Demyx's eyes had lingered from the television screen to the glow of Axel's emerald eyes. With a shaky hand, he had reached up and brushed Axel's cheek with his fingers, earning a shudder and gasp from the redhead. His eyes met Demyx's then, full of love and regret.

The entire night was still so surreal to them both. For what seemed like a lonely eternity, they had cried themselves to sleep as they longed for the other to be there with them. Not a single night went by where they didn't dream about each other, and the beautiful love they had lost. And now that they were in each other's arms as they watched one of the sappiest love movies of all time, gazing into each other's eyes, those lonely nights seemed like a dream in themselves.

Axel tangled his fingers in Demyx's hair. He leaned forward and pressed his nose against the soft blonde mane, breathing him in as deeply as his lungs would allow. Now it was Demyx's turn to shudder, and his hands gripped Axel's shirt tightly.

Jack and Rose were no longer of any interest to them and they soon found themselves lost in each other's arms and lips. Axel had pinned Demyx beneath him in a fiery, passionate kiss, the kind where their lips were locked and never parted once despite the changing of positions and awkward re-adjusting they did to accomodate both on the small couch. Demyx allowed himself to drown in his lover's arms and kisses and gripped his hair tightly in his fists. He dared not to open his eyes, trying to keep this feeling, this _moment_, within him forever.

Demyx gasped sharply when he felt Axel's hips grinding against his own and the redhead's knee pressing between his legs. His grip on the boy hovering above him tightened as their kisses intensified and the became less careful and the barries that had formed quickly crumbled. Their tongues and lips were suddenly rough and hungry, as were their hands as they grasped at one another and tugged at their clothing.

Their lips parted, both gasping for air as they gazed at each other. Axel brushed some stray bangs out of Demyx's eyes and rubbed his cheek lovingly. His deep blue eyes closed automatically and he sighed contentedly at Axel's touch. He had forgotten how soft and gentle the redhead was, how his fingertips felt like feathers as they brushed against his skin. Goosebumps pinched at his arms and legs as shivers ran down his back. Unable to bear the soft touch any longer, Demyx took Axel's hand into his own and kissed his fingers lightly.

"I love you," the blonde murmured against the velvet skin. "With all my heart...I'll never stop..."

Axel smiled and stroked Demyx's cheek softly. It was then his eyes fluttered open gracefully and he _really_ looked at his prince.

When he saw how Demyx's blue eyes burned, Axel knew exactly what he wanted.

In a swift fluid motion, Axel jumped off the couch and picked up Demyx in his arms like a small child. Demyx wrapped his arms around Axel's neck and his legs around the redhead's waist, leaning over and kissing him wildly. And Axel kissed him back hard, slowly feeling his way towards what was once again _their_ bedroom.

* * *

Demyx moaned and gasped uncontrollably. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe. All that existed was _Axel_, hovering above him and pounding in and out of him as he whispered sweet nothings and gasped against the blonde's neck. His thrusts became harder and faster as his climax approached. Below him, Demyx was gasping and mewling his name as he begged for more, fisting Axel's hair tightly and writhing in complete ecstasy.

Their kisses had grown hungry as they ravaged each other's lips and neck. As they clung to each other and rolled around switching positions, they had lost their clothing in the middle of it all, and thrown it unceremoniously about the room. Axel kissed Demyx's beautiful, naked body and nearly came right then and there, his skin hot and sweaty beneath his lips. He had forgotten how _alive _thrusting in and out of Demyx made him feel, how _on fire _he was when he heard his lover gasp and moan and felt him arching against Axel in all the right places.

"_Demyx_," Axel gasped raggedly, kissing and biting his ear and neck. "...I love you..."

The blonde moaned in reply, gripping onto the redhead tighter. _To the stars_, he had told Axel as he ravaged him on the bed. And Axel had done just that. His fiery-touches and searing thrusts left Demyx panting and gasping and shuddering in ways that rocked Axel's core like nothing else could. With a simple part of his lips and a soft groan of approval, Demyx had reduced his senses and coherent thoughts to virtually nothing. The only thing Axel could think to do was ravish the boy, and make him feel physically what he felt for him emotionally.

Demyx released a final cry, louder and more strangled than the others, and his body shudder sharply as he shattered into his orgasm. The boy trembled as his fire-obsessed lover followed suit, filling the younger with the warmth of his orgasm, containing all of his love, need, want, desire, and inner being.

Axel collapsed in a sweaty heap on top of Demyx, resting his head on his shoulder. Both gasped for air, breathing heavily. They could feel each other's heartbeats, both fast and erratic. Demyx stroked Axel's hair lovingly, running his fingers through his crimson locks. Axel looked up at him affectionately, a tired smile on his face. His emerald eyes glowed with a softness Demyx saw rarely, his heart swelling with undying love. Axel brought a hand to Demyx's cheek, kissing him lightly.

Still catching his breath, Axel pulled out of Demyx and rolled off of him, only for the sweaty blonde to wriggle back into his arms. Demyx smiled softly up at him, the corners of his lips meeting the corners of his eyes. He rested his cheek against Axel's bare chest and sighed happily at the redhead's warmth. His eyes fluttered closed, and he concentrated on the gentle _th-thump, th-thump_ resonating from Axel's chest beneath his ear. Softly, gently, he placed a light kiss over Axel's heart, smiling as he realized it was all his.

"This belongs to me..." the blonde whispered softly, laying another kiss over the organ keeping Axel alive. "At least, I hope it does..."

"Of course it does," Axel whispered back, smiling at him and running his fingers through Demyx's blonde mane. "It always will."

Demyx's smile widened into a grin, the one that made Axel forget how to breathe. He pulled Demyx closer by his shoulders and kissed him, his lips melting against the younger boy's. Demyx could feel Axel smiling through the kisses they exchanged, and couldn't help but smiling, too. Axel's hands made their way up Demyx's neck onto his face and began committing it to memory, tracing each feature over and over again until it was burned into his subconcious. He stroked his cheeks lovingly with the back of his fingers, tracing his jaw and cheekbones as they kissed softly, sighing into Demyx's mouth as he surrendered to the blonde's lips.

Their mouths parted, much to Axel's disappointment, leaving him craving more. He smiled again, his lips parting into a full grin. His eyes wandered over Demyx's face greedily and took in every pore, every contour, every hair. He removed his hands from their current position, tangled in Demyx's hair, and once again placed them on Demyx's cheeks. A thought struck him then, making him wonder where he had lost six months and the beautiful blonde hovering above him.

"What was I thinking, Demyx?" he whispered, gazing intently into the blonde's infinitely deep blue eyes. "Everything I want, everything I need, is right here, right in between my hands..."

Demyx blushed a soft scarlet and smiled. He took Axel's hand into his and kissed his palm softly, replying in an equally velvety voice, "It's okay, Axel...you were confused. You didn't know what to do. You thought you were doing the right thing..."

His voice trailed off as he closed his eyes and rubbed Axel's hand against his cheek. "I love you. Don't leave me, Axel..." He opened his eyes, soft and sincere and full of love. "Please...I need you."

"Never," he whispered in a short breathe, kissing Demyx's lips softly. "I swear, I will _never_ leave you ever again. I messed up so badly...I will never make you go through that. But if I do, you can destroy me in any way you want."

Demyx shook his head, still holding onto Axel's hand tightly. "I couldn't...no matter what horrible thing you do to me. I could never hurt you, Axel...even if you begged, I couldn't do it..."

His green eyes lit up, his cheeks touching the corners of his eyes, and Axel kissed Demyx fiercely. They both allowed themselves to get lost in the other's lips and hands and hushed gasps as their kisses deepened. They eventually fell asleep like that, holding each other delicately in their arms and their lips softly brushing together.

That night, they slept soundlessly.


	10. Epilogue

..»Still In Love With You  
..»Chapter 10: Epilogue  
..»By: ONiONLADi777  
..»Read and Reviewed by Lavender341 (thanks Nikki!)  
..»**Dedication:**To anyone who ever read this story, favorited it, or reviewed it; to anyone who ever laughed, cried, or even screamed at their computer, this chapter is for you :)

* * *

As Axel's eyes fluttered open and he slowly awoke, he was surprised by the coolness that surrounded him. There was something soft and feathery poking at his cheeks and tickling him ever-so slightly. He closed his eyes once more and buried his face further in the softness. When it smelled like chlorine and water and peppermint, he opened his eyes and blinked a few times as a mass of blonde came into focus.

Demyx tightened his grip around Axel and immersed his face in the redhead's warm neck. He mumbled something incoherent before settling once more into sleep, snoring softly into Axel's ear. The redhead smiled softly and shuddered at Demyx's warm breath in his ear. Gently, he titled the blonde's face up towards his and placed a feather-light kiss on his lips. Demyx smiled against Axel's lips and sighed softly, kissing his once-again boyfriend happily.

When the blonde pulled away and smiled at him, brushing a stray piece of red hair out of his eyes, Axel whispered, "...am I dreaming?"

Demyx's lovely smile widened and he shook his head. "No, you're not. I'm here, Axel, and I love you."

Axel smiled widely, revealing a pair of pristine white teeth, and kissed Demyx's smooth lips with a soft grin. He idly laced his fingers together with Demyx's, before murmuring, "It's been so long..."

"_Too_long..." Demyx replied, burying his face in Axel's neck once more. His nose was filled with spice and cinnamon, combined with Axel's own unique flavor. He breathed in the scent as deeply as his lungs would allow, then released it slowly. He subconsciously reached up and ran his fingers through Axel's unruly hair. The redhead smiled and kissed Demyx's wrist softly. A realization dawned on Demyx, and he wondered aloud, "...how do you think Roxas and everyone will take this?"

Axel let out a soft chuckle. "I didn't even think about them..." He rolled over on his side, pulling Demyx in closer. "We could surprise them tomorrow. Riku could always take Zexion or something...and Roxas could bum a ride off Naminé..."

Demyx smiled, cuddling into Axel's warm, bare chest. "I like that. Almost as much as I like laying here like this."

Axel nodded. "I'm definitely not moving for another hour...or two."

Axel buried his face deep in the warm featheryness of Demyx's hair, breathing in his watery scent deeply. He smiled at how sweet the smaller teen smelled and how it made his stomach flutter like a thousand butterflies. The natural sort of perfume that exuded off of the blonde's skin relaxed Axel instantly. He sighed happily, kissing his one and only with a wide smile.

"So..." Demyx whispered, biting his bottom lip shyly and blushing slightly. "Did...last night...really happen?"

A wide smile spread across Axel's face. His voice was soft as he replied, "Yeah...I think it did."

Demyx sifted through the past few weeks in his head, the events, dates, and, ultimately, laying in Axel's arms as he was now. He sat up suddenly, however, when he realized something. Something important.

"Demyx?"

He looked back at a very confused and surprised Axel. "Axel, do you realize what day it is?" The redhead stared back at him perplexed. "Um...Sunday?"

Demyx smiled and shook his head. "No, silly. It's not _just_ Sunday. It's April 27."

Axel's lips parted and his eyes glittered with comprehension. Demyx tumbled back into his arms, kissing him fiercely. Through their heated, passionate kisses, Axel murmured, "Happy Anniversary, Demyx."

The blonde smiled back at him, and whispered, running his fingers through the redhead's fiery mane, "Remind me why I fell in love with you." Axel growled pleasurably deep in his throat and nodded, his eyes drifting closed. "I'll do much more than that..." Without another word, he pressed his mouth against the blonde's and instantly drowned in his touch.

* * *

"I can't believe him!! What the hell is so important that we had to shove into Riku's two-seater with him and Sora?!"

Zexion shot Roxas an annoyed glare, looking up from his book. He rubbed his temples, aggravated at the infuriated blonde who had not stopped screaming about how Axel had called late last night, telling them to find their own rides the next morning. Roxas had nearly made the violet-haired junior go deaf, having been forced to squeeze in the small space behind the two front seats of Riku's small car. Riku had tried (in vain) to get him to shut up, only causing him to yell and rant further.

"Roxas, really, I think you're overreacting," Naminé said from her place next to Zexion on the school bench. She twirled her pencil idly in her fingers, watching Roxas turn several angry shades of red she hadn't even known existed. "Who knows? Maybe he has a good reason for this. Maybe he got sick or something."

"Oh, yeah, like _Axel _gets sick," Roxas retorted sourly. "I swear, in the four years I've known him, he's _never_ been sick. Ever. Unless he developed a brain tumor overnight, there is zero chance of him being sick."

"I'm just throwing out the possibilities," Naminé replied calmly, tracing over a line in her drawing. "You know, come to think of it, where's Demyx? Has anyone heard from him?"

"Nope."

"Not me."

"Not-uh."

"The last time I spoke with him, it was Friday night," Zexion said, slipping his bookmark deep into the spine and closing the book. "I'm worried...it isn't like him to just not say anything to anyone. If he ran off somewhere, he would leave a note or something explaining himself."

Sora glanced around thoughtfully, before wondering aloud, "You don't think they're, I dunno, together? It's kind of strange that they're _both_ not here..."

"Hmm..." Zexion looked over at Roxas, an eyebrow raised. "I hadn't thought about that...while it's unlikely, it's not _impossible..._"

Naminé glanced up at him. "Do you think...that Axel finally told him...?"

He looked back at her, sighing. "Well, I'd say that's equally unlikely, but once again, not impossible. If he finally did...there's no doubt in my mind Demyx would forgive him instantly. They both have been miserable without the other, after all..."

The group fell silent, thinking about the possibility of such a thing. Zexion couldn't have said it better; now it was a matter of whether it had really happened or not. Naminé continued to draw in her sketchbook, pondering Axel and Demyx and the scene that had transpired between them when Axel finally confessed to his mistake. Roxas kicked at rocks and mulch on the ground, still harboring irritation towards Axel for cancelling on them that morning.

And then they heard the strangest, yet most familiar sound. They all turned slowly, almost as if moving too fast would shatter the moment. Zexion's eyes widened and his lips parted in a surprised gasp. Roxas's jaw dropped and he nearly collapsed onto the bench next to him. Riku's grip on Sora's hand went weak, and Sora's entire body went numb. Naminé dropped her pencil onto her sketchbook and it rolled onto the ground.

What they saw was so familiar, and yet so foreign, they didn't actually believe they were seeing it.

Axel was smiling a wide, genuine smile and laughing freely as he walked along. Beside him, Demyx was wearing an equally radiant smile and laughing with the redhead, elbowing him in the stomach playfully. Their eyes met and they continued laughing; over what, no one could be quite sure, but it really didn't matter. Between them, their hands were joined and their fingers were laced together.

A sight that had been impossible for what felt like an eternity.

In that second, everything was perfect again. The past six months were merely a fleeting nightmare, one that was quickly fading into nothing. Seeing Axel and Demyx walking together hand in hand, all of the anger and frustration that had built up inside of Zexion disappeared. The sadness and irritation Roxas had been trying to hide from Axel was gone. And the only thing that was left within any of them was relief.

The laughing couple strolled over to their surprised, awaiting friends, oblivious to their utter confusion. Roxas's jaw dropped in disbelief. He rubbed his eyes several times, blinking. He pointed a confused finger at Axel, then at Demyx, then back at Axel. "Wait a minute. What the hell happened?!"

"Axel, did you tell him? Everything?" Zexion asked suspiciously.

"Zexy, you worry too much," Demyx said, walking over to his best friend and clapping him on the shoulder. "You know, they say stress is really bad for you."

The blonde's violet-haired friend glared at him, then turned his attention back to Axel. The redhead sighed as Demyx once again took his hand, looking back at his shorter friend. "I really did tell him, Zexion. And...even though I don't deserve it," Axel bit his lip nervously, glancing over at Demyx. "Demyx has forgiven me. And offered me a second chance."

"Oh, this is just fabulous," Riku snorted, feigning annoyance to hide his sheer joy and relief. "Now we're going to be subjected to your completely oblivious make-out sessions at lunch. Thanks, guys."

Sora elbowed him in the gut, receiving a strangled growl in response. Ignoring his silver-haired boyfriend, he said, "Just ignore him. Guys, we're really happy for you. You have no idea how much it tortured us to watch you two be so miserable and lie to yourselves constantly."

Naminé smiled warmly at the reunited couple. "I second that. Right now, you both look so _happy_ and complete. It's a relief for all of us."

Axel glanced over at Demyx, who was smiling at him as he blushed a soft scarlet. He gripped the blonde's hand tighter, smiling back at him as his eyes glittered happily.

"So this was the surprise," Roxas said with a smile. "This was why you called me at two in the morning and told me to find a ride."

Axel scratched the back of his head. "Um, yeah...about that. I, um, I meant to call you earlier, but..." he glanced over at Demyx, who was now a deep shade of crimson. Roxas screwed his eyes shut and shook his head, muttering, "It's fine. I really don't want to know."

"About how we had sex pretty much the entire day?"

Roxas groaned. "Ack. Definitely not a mental image I wanted this early in the morning."

Rolling his eyes, Zexion looked over at Axel with fire in his eyes. "Axel, I swear to you, if you _ever_ break my best friend like that ever again, so help me, I will make sure that you _never_ forget it."

Demyx smiled and laughed softly. "Don't worry, Zexion." He looked up at Axel's eyes of emerald, his heart skipping a beat. "I have a good feeling about this one."

Axel smiled at them, then turned towards Demyx and leaned towards him, kissing him softly. Instead of groaning in disgust and shielding their eyes as they had in the past, all that their friends were capable of was staring and smiling. Such a sight would have been wouldn't have been possible even days ago. It had been missing from their daily lives, and now that it was finally back, they all realized how much they had missed it. As strange as they must have seemed to onlookers, somehow, it was completely normal.

Demyx broke away from Axel, smiling. He reached up and stroked his hair, whispering softly, "I knew I was still in love with you."

* * *

..»**A/N:**-dies- IT'S FINISHED!! -dances around room for a moment- Oh wow. The reality of it still hasn't dawned on me yet. I really, really liked writing this fic, and I'm definitely not ready to give Demmy and Axel up. I put nearly all of heart and soul into writing this, because I've been through a really rough break-up after a year (only it wasn't quite to the magnitude of theirs). While I didn't get the fairy tale ending these two did, writing this fanfic was absolutely amazing and I love it so much :) :) :)

..»Thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed! Whether you left just a short sentence like "I loved it!" or you wrote entire paragraphs, I read every single one and tried to reply to as many as I could. I'm sorry if I never replied to yours! :( But I did read it, and it did urge me to keep writing when I just wanted to sleep :) Thank you to everyone who believed in Axel and Demyx as much as I did, and everyone who was rooting for a happy ending as much as I was. You all had a part in making their dream come true :)

..»**Most important of all is RIGHT HERE:** Okay. So I'm totally in love with this storyline and I want to keep it going in every way possible. And I want to know what you all would want to see. There are two choices:

**CHOICE A:**A prequel to this story. It would go further into detail about Axel's and Demyx's lives before they met, as they fell in love, all that mushy stuff, and end just before their -sniff- breakup.

-or-

**CHOICE B:**A sequel to this story. I have a few ideas of where this would go. It would go into the very end of Axel and Demyx's junior year, their summer vacation, and their senior year.

At any rate, I'm going to end up writing both because I'm just that crazy. But I'd like to know what the readers and reviewers would want to read first so I can focus on that and tell Axel and Demyx from the other story to _shut up_ and let me sleep.

..»Again, thank you thank you THANK YOU to everyone who read this story, reviewed it, favorited it, read it but was too lazy to review or favorite it, everyone who ever laughed at this story, cried, or even screamed at their computer, this story is for you. I really, really hoped you enjoyed it and hope to see you again for the next roller coaster ride :)

--_ONiONLADi777_


End file.
